Part 8: Buddy plays midwife for the gays
Y'all... My dog thinks he is my MIDWIFE!!
First of all, let me start with what started it all...
PREGNANT YOGA!
So I'm feeling great today & decided because I ate sooo many pickle and hot sauce with cheese sandwiches - today I would try a little exercise...
No bueno y'all.
I ordered it to watch it at home while my man went to grab a few things for dinner.
He gives me a kiss and says he'll be back.
I act normal and as soon as I watch him back out of the driveway I turn the program on.
Simple stuff at first. Stretching and breathing and I'm starting to get the hang of it.
But about midway thru - they've got me in some position using a belt and my arms behind me holding it.
You're supposed to breath in bending back and then forward letting it out, with ur arms grasping the belt in the air.
Yes, something that doesn't sound too bad.
But it WAS.
I start my descent - big belly hanging in my way - and I'm letting air out going down.
My eyes were closed but they IMMEDIATELY went open because I felt the WORST cramp/strain I've ever felt in my lower back coming & I immediately went to hurry and stand regular but I must've did something too fast cuz IM NOW LOCKED IN THAT POSITION!!!
Arms still got the belt above my back and I'm HURTING YALL!
I can't move up or down and the cramp thing is SO BAD!!
FIRST THING I THOUGHT TO DO WAS CALL MY MAN!
But my phone was ON THE BED ACROSS THE ROOM YALL!
So my big ass stomach and arms still high, I waddled over SLOWLY to the bed - still bent and stuck in my muscles lock position.
But I made it to the bed y'all.
I pull my phone over closer with my nose as I'm leaning almost perfectly hovering over the bed - wishing I could just drop onto it but with my stomach the size of a basketball - I held stride.
I tap on the screen with my nose and immediately try to call my husband...
Or course no answer.
So I texted him the best I could with my nose.
I tried to send
"Please come home ASAP!! Medical emergency!"
As soon as I send it my dog - who has been laying watching me do the stretches - hops up on the bed with a nurses bandana on and has a stethoscope. I'm like huh?!!!
Y'all if it wasnt bad already with the position I was locked in - seeing him dressed up and with Dr equipment - I immediately tried to stand up again at the nonsense and only pulled it more.
By now I'm dripping sweat.
If the muscles holding me like this hadn't given out yet - THEY FELT LIKE IT.
I was seconds away from just LAYING FORWARD and I was convinced I would try to roll over fast enough if I could let go of this DAMN BELT!!
SECONDS before I about dive face first into memory foam - I hear babe coming in and yelling
"What is it now?? Not the baby's foot coming out ur stomach? I can't pass out today I got to cook for Thanksgiving tomorrow!"
As he finished saying that he came around the corner to our room and seen Buddy all dressed up and me looking A HOT MESS still hovering over the bed and arms high with belt tight behind me
The only thing he could do was slightly laugh and said
"Oh boy... You know we can't do that right now! My cousin is coming over to drop off the extra pie pans -"
I cut him off with:
"No BABE!! Call the ambulance IM STUCK! But first - I NEED TO LAY DOWN! PLEASE FLIP ME OVER before I smash our baby at the price of my
muscle dystrophy."
And I let out a real tear...
As babe comes over to help me now and gently as he seen this wasn't one of my dramatic stunts & as soon as he grabs the belt from me and I let my arms down on the bed but back still not giving this position up -
Y'all... I don't even wanna tell y'all... It's sooo gross... But I got to tell somebody...
Babe then grabs my waist on both sides and tells me on the count of 3 he's gonna help me go to my side...
I said screw it ANYTHING besides this - I can't anymore..
And as I brace myself on the mattress with my hands to help flip - he goes
"Three...two...-"
Y'all...
I pooted so long and loud my dog put a surgical mask on and stepped out the room!
But omg THAT WAS THE CRAMP!!
I LET IT OUT AND MY BACK LET ME MOVE!
I immediately just crawl onto the bed and lay on my side.
As soon as I do - I take a deep breath and look for where my husband went cuz it went silent after all that...
Y'all not him FROZE arms still like they're at my sides and him staring straight.
It sent me into CACKLE MODE!
I absolutely do not think farts are funny - my man tho? Hilarious without trying.
He finally says
"I'm... Gonna go take a shower... You rest. I'll see if I can find something for your.... Gas."
And turns and walks out slowly as my dog comes running back in and up next to me.
Still in the lil outfit and looking cute so I snapped this photo and showed babe when he got out...
Not him going misty eyed and saying
"Awe. That's too cute... Imagine when it'll be our kid laying in ur lap like that & me holding you... Or taking the pics like this!"
I watched him send it to himself but I wasn't thinking nothing of it.
A hour or so later I go to the kitchen for some jalapenos and grape jelly... Sorry sounded DELICIOUS and when I got the kitchen - babe had barely anything going!
I mean not even a skillet or nothing laid out oven barely preheated and it was just now chopping something...
I'm thinking where the hell has he been this whole time doing nothing? But before I could fully trip on him out loud - y'all...
Not me standing in the kitchen about to yell at him cuz there's no way he's been not cooking this whole - and I caught it...
A frame. The size to hold like a normal 5x7. It said in little colorful letters on the top of the frame
"Family 1st"
And in it?? The photo you are looking at...
My man went to the garage and printed it out and set it right on the bar area for the kitchen to see.
I ask him what that is? And he tells me.
I thought it was so cute and idk - but I think y'all do too...
This man ain't just my husband. He ain't just my friend. He LOVES me and his unborn son & anyone couldve felt it in the room when he said this
"Every time I look at that photo - I'll remember the first time I KNEW we'd be a perfect family... I been trying to think of something to go in this frame I bought last week... And then you go and take this immaculate photo - cuz nobody could get a dog to sit that still... So I used it...
I just wanna be able to show our son when he gets older our crazy life."
And I giggle and he kisses me and finished with
"Just like I'm going to tomorrow at Thanksgiving! I got a photo of you arms flailing while hovering stuck - I get to tell everyone you was doing secret yoga & buddy the midwife came to the rescue!"
I'm thinking okay... I feel a but coming soon... And there it was
"But we DO NOT mention the gas explosion i received from my son and husband... I still taste it and refuse for it to ruin my dinner TOMORROW too."
So y'all... If I end up with a DISASTER story from tomorrow - know it started with pregnant yoga & a dog who thinks he went to med school...
I think imma just eat another pickle hot sauce and cheese sandwich... I've burned enough calories today I think. 😉
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Gayboy Pregnancy Chronicles
Pregnancy can come with unexpected challenges and funny moments, especially when trying new things like pregnant yoga. Many expectant parents find that gentle exercise helps with flexibility and relaxation, but it’s important to listen to your body and go slow, particularly when dealing with a growing belly and sensitive muscles. Back cramps and muscle strains are common complaints, so proper support during stretches is essential. This story highlights the relatable and endearing side of pregnancy—the way loved ones, including pets, become part of the journey. Animals often sense when their humans need comfort, and it’s heartwarming to imagine a dog turning into a playful midwife with a nurse’s bandana and stethoscope. These moments bring levity and companionship during stressful or painful experiences. When stuck in a tricky yoga pose, having someone to assist can make all the difference, as shown when help finally arrived to ease the muscle spasm. Also, humor plays a huge role in coping with discomfort—sometimes a well-timed laugh or a silly "gas explosion" moment can help relieve tension and brighten the day. Family support shines through as well, with the partner’s sweet gesture of framing a candid photo showing their growing family’s love and anticipation. Capturing these memories creates a tangible story to share with their child in the future. For anyone experiencing pregnancy, remember that self-care and gentle movement have benefits but knowing your limits is key. And if you have a furry midwife at home ready to cheer you on, even better! Exploring community stories like this strengthens bonds among expectant families and showcases the many layers of modern family life, especially in the LGBTQ+ community. Pregnancy journeys are unique, full of ups and downs, but sharing these authentic experiences helps normalize all aspects of parenthood. If you’re following the Gayboy Pregnancy Chronicles, this episode offers a mix of humor, struggle, and deep love that resonates universally. Whether you’re an expectant parent, a pet owner, or just looking for a genuine and funny slice of life, this story encourages embracing the unexpected moments with grace and laughter.
