After Surrender
*by BrittyJ*
“Aww, Roscoe… are you feeling the *itis* too? On this Monday of all Mondays!” Breanna said, overwhelmed from the day. She rubbed her teacup Yorkie’s head as he rested his tiny face on her thigh. She flicked through the TV channels, hoping to find something—anything—to take her mind off the whirlwind of her life.
“With everything going on, Roscoe… I don’t know how much more I can take. Something has to give.”
Breanna sighed, finishing the last of her red wine. She didn’t want to admit it out loud, but she was tired of being tired. It almost made her feel like a quitter.
“Nope… naw… ooo—wait.” She paused mid-grumble.
“I remember this movie — it’s a throwback. Let’s watch this, Roscoe.”
She smiled faintly. “I remember watching this movie with my family one Sunday after Grandma cooked her famous dinner.” The memory softened her face.
Breanna shifted, getting more comfortable on the couch, positioning Roscoe in her lap like a warm pillow.
A few moments later, the tension in her shoulders eased. Her body melted into the couch, the weight of the day finally loosening its grip. The movie washed over her, warm and familiar, pulling her deeper into the comfort of her childhood. The room softened at the edges.
For a moment, Breanna felt content.
Breanna found herself in her closet, surrounded by name-brand clothes, accessories, and shoes — sobbing. In that moment, none of it mattered. Life had beaten her down, and Breanna was at her breaking point.
The weight of the world had become too much. Between her job, the family issues she had carried silently, and the state of the world itself, she had been strong for so long that she forgot what it felt like to fall apart. Her breathing came in uneven gasps as she struggled to catch her breath between heavy sobs.
“God I know you only put on us what we can bear,” she whispered, “but I don’t know how much longer I can continue carry this load. I surrender everything to You. I need You in my life.”
“God, I need You,” she choked. “I can’t do this anymore. Please… I surrender.”
Tears streamed down her face like a waterfall.
Her voice cracked on the word *surrender*. Breanna collapsed fully onto the floor, curling into the fetal position. Surrounded by her Bible and her phone, she felt a warm presence settle over her like a blanket—soft, steady, quieting the storm inside her.
Peace filled her heart. Breanna let out another breath she didn’t know she’d been holding.
Her spirit finally exhaled.
Peace had found her.
She heard children laughing.
“Mama! Mama, come chase us!”
Breanna spun around. Sunlight rested on the children like a picture for a calendar — three little bodies running in circles, two boys and one girl, all under six. Their tiny feet pattered across the green grass, their giggles lifting into the air.
She took off after them, breathless with joy.
“Daddy, come chase us with Mommy!” the kids giggled.
“I’m sorry, babies,” a man called from the porch, stepping outside with a pan in his hand. “Somebody has to grill the food.” He laughed. “All that running is gonna make y’all into hungry, little monsters!”
“We not monsters, Daddy,” one of the boys called back. “Mommy is!”
The kids burst into giggles.
He blew Breanna a kiss and mouthed, "I love you."
She smiled and blew one back, mouthing "I love you too."
Warmth flooded her chest. She felt joy — full and whole — as she chased the children across the yard that belonged to her and her husband, enclosed by a white picket fence. Their laughter wrapped around her like sunshine.
The kids collapsed onto a blanket in the grass, a soft pile of tiny arms and legs. Breanna dropped beside them, tickling their bellies and toes, kissing their cheeks until their laughter softened into quiet breaths.
Her twin boys sat up on their knees. “We love you, Mommy!” they said, still catching their breath.
“Aww, babies, I love you too,” Breanna replied as they took off to grab something to drink.
She gathered her baby girl into her arms and squeezed her tight. She didn't want to let go of this feeling, and this moment.
Breanna felt loved.
But when she pulled back, her breath caught the little girl was suddenly grown, a full adult standing in front of her, with a beautiful smile.
A tug on Breanna’s dress made her look down. A chubby baby boy — who looked just like her daughter — gazed up at her. Breanna scooped him up instinctively, his weight settling warmly into her arms.
She looked up and found herself somewhere else.
She was in a banquet hall now, soft golden lights glowing across the room. Gold, black, and white decorations filled the space as chatter and music floated through the air. On the far wall hung a large sign decorated with roses and gold trim:
“HAPPY 50th ANNIVERSARY!”
Her husband walked toward her — older, but still handsome, still the same man whose kiss once made her blush. He slid an arm around her waist and kissed her temple.
“Happy anniversary, sweetie. I love you.”
Breanna smiled. “I love you too, baby,” she said, kissing him back. He leaned in and kissed the cheek of their only grandbaby. Their twin boys — both looking just like their father — stepped forward with their dates.
“Happy anniversary, Mom and Dad! We love y’all,” they said in unsion, smiling.
Family, friends, and members of the community filled the room. They shared memories, told stories, and spoke highly of how the couple — together and as individuals — had blessed them over the years, how their love had reached beyond their home and children and poured into the lives of others.
At the end of the dinner, a photographer called everyone to take a family picture. As they gathered side by side, Breanna glanced at her sons standing tall beside their dates. She then looked to her right stood her daughter and her family, she was so proud of her children! and beside her stood her husband — the love of her life.
Breanna stood in awe of how her life had turned out. A beautiful family. A blessed life. She could hardly fathom that this was hers.
Everything had come full circle.
She felt grateful.
She felt blessed.
The love —
that grew into a legacy.
All of it wrapped around her like a promise.
---
A quiet thump woke Breanna up.
She jumped, looking around the room, trying to figure out where the sound had come from. Roscoe, who looked like he had been sleeping just as deeply, lifted his head and glanced at her before settling back down.
Breanna reached for him, pulling him close as she bent down to pick up the remote from the floor. She glanced back at the TV.
“I’ve never seen this movie before,” she said out loud, setting the remote on the table. “How long have we been asleep, Roscoe?”
The feeling from the dream lingered — heavy, warm, real. She could still feel its presence, like it hadn’t fully let her go.
"What time is it?" she wondered.
She grabbed her phone. 1:45 a.m.
Then something from the dream came rushing back to her. She didn’t need to understand it. She just knew what to do next.
Breanna shot up from the couch, gently setting Roscoe down. Without hesitation, she rushed to her room, grabbed her Bible from the nightstand, and dropped to her knees in her closet — hands lifted, surrendering to God’s way for her life, trusting Him completely.
