It's a strange feeling to look at a picture of yourself, like that recent selfie I took in my car with my long blonde hair and light eyes, and still feel that familiar whisper: 'I am not beautiful.' On the surface, everything might seem fine, even bright. But inside, it can be a different story. I know many 'loiras' or blondes often face stereotypes or expectations about appearance, but the truth is, self-doubt doesn't discriminate based on hair color. For a long time, I've grappled with this internal conflict. You might see a neutral expression in my photos, but sometimes that's just a mask for deeper insecurities. It's not about seeking pity; it's about acknowledging a very real and sometimes isolating experience. I’ve often felt a kind of 'salarrea simpcity' – a feeling of being plain or ordinary amidst a world that constantly bombards us with images of unattainable perfection. It's that quiet, almost salty feeling of being unremarkable, even when you crave to feel truly seen and valued. This isn't just about physical looks, though that's where it often starts. It's about self-worth, about the stories we tell ourselves. I've realized that the journey to feeling beautiful begins not with changing what's on the outside, but with shifting my perspective from within. It’s about recognizing that beauty isn't a fixed standard, but a dynamic, personal experience. It's in the way you carry yourself, the kindness you show, the passions that light up your eyes. What has helped me on this path? Firstly, practicing self-compassion. Instead of being my harshest critic, I try to talk to myself like I would a dear friend. Secondly, curating my social media feed to include more diverse and real body types and faces, rather than just filtered perfection. It helps to remember that everyone has their own struggles, and what you see online is often just a highlight reel. Another big step has been identifying what truly makes me feel good, beyond appearances. Is it pursuing a hobby? Spending time in nature? Connecting with loved ones? When I focus on these things, the 'I am not beautiful' voice quiets down. It's about building a life that feels authentic and joyful, and letting that inner light shine through. Taking that car selfie, even with a neutral expression, was a small step – a way to acknowledge myself in that moment, without judgment. It's a work in progress, but slowly, I'm learning to appreciate the unique person I am, long blonde hair and all.