Is this normal in certain cultures?

Growing up, I was surrounded by constant criticism from my family. It wasn’t just my parents it came from my aunts, uncles, and even my cousins. No matter what I did, someone always had something to say about it. I guess it’s just part of our culture, something passed down from generation to generation, but that doesn’t make it any easier to live with. It shaped the way I saw myself, and honestly, it hurt more than they probably realized.

Sometimes I wonder if maybe I did get love, but they just showed it in a different way. Maybe in their eyes, pointing things out was their way of trying to help me or make me better. But as a kid, it didn’t feel like love. It felt like I was constantly being picked apart, and that’s what stayed with me all these years.

I’m realizing now just how bad it was for me, and that’s why I’m determined to break that cycle. The criticism and pressure stop with me. I want to create a new standard for my family where encouragement replaces judgment, and where our future generations grow up feeling loved, supported, and confident in who they are.

#girltalk #girlpov #lemon8challenge #relationships #AskLemon8

2025/9/5 Edited to

... Read moreGrowing up in a family environment where criticism is a constant presence can deeply affect one's self-esteem and mental health. It’s important to recognize that in some cultures, this pattern of feedback might be seen as a form of care or an attempt to improve others, even though it can feel hurtful and damaging. The generational trauma described in the article — where family members repeatedly point out flaws as a misguided expression of love — often leads children to internalize feelings of inadequacy. Many people raised in such environments struggle with self-worth and may carry emotional scars well into adulthood. This continuous experience of being "not enough" or "always wrong" creates a heavy emotional burden. However, awareness of this pattern is a powerful first step toward change. By consciously choosing to break this cycle and foster a culture of encouragement rather than judgment, individuals can redefine family dynamics. Creating a new family standard where future children "feel love in the purest form," as expressed in the article's OCR content, means supporting and accepting them exactly as they are. Encouragement helps build confidence, resilience, and a positive self-image. It allows children to grow up secure in their identities rather than feeling pressured to meet impossible expectations or fearing criticism. If you identify with this experience, it can be helpful to seek resources on healing generational trauma, like therapy, support groups, or cultural understanding. Open conversations about feelings and family patterns can facilitate understanding and change. Remember, breaking long-held cultural cycles of criticism is not an easy process but is essential for nurturing future generations who thrive emotionally and mentally.

11 comments

Caroline ☀️'s images
Caroline ☀️

I feel the same way with you. I’m 23 years old, my parents think I’m disobedient because I decided to not live with them. I don’t want to live with them because 1.) they do not respect my privacy 2.) they have zero boundaries 3.) very controlling - from the way I talk to what I wear 4.) they think they are always right. Girl, I FEEL you. Thing is, we can’t change our family. We just have to compromise with it, and if it’s that hard, I’d really say move out. In my experience, moving out helped me so much especially for my mental health. I do love my family and I respect them, I’m sure you do as well, but sometimes, if they don’t want to listen to you and understand you, just be the bigger person, understand where they’re coming from, then just move out.

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