what would you do if your bf said this to you?
Lately I’ve been juggling a lot: busy work schedule, holiday season stress, and marathon training that has me running nearly 40 miles a week. I’ll admit, the cleaning has slipped on my end, and my partner has definitely been picking up more than usual. But when he said I “never clean” and that it’s a “women’s job”… yeah, that hit differently and just well, seems outdated. We normally split our household chores in a way that feels fair because we both work and both have packed schedules. It truly takes full teamwork to keep our home running, and usually we’re great at balancing that.
Am I in the wrong or is he in the wrong for saying that? What would you do if your partner said that to you?
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Dealing with comments like "I never clean and that it's a women's job" can be really tough, especially when you're already juggling a hectic schedule. In many relationships, chores and responsibilities are best handled as a shared effort, acknowledging each partner's workload and commitments. When one partner makes outdated remarks about gender roles, it can cause hurt and frustration that go beyond the surface dispute about housework. It's important to communicate openly about how such comments affect you and also revisit how chores are divided. Fairness doesn't always mean a 50/50 split but rather matching effort with realistic capabilities during busy times like holiday seasons or training for marathons. A partner who understands the stress you're under should ideally respond with empathy rather than reinforcing stereotypes. Reflecting on why these comments sting can help clarify your feelings. Is it about feeling unappreciated? Or perhaps the remark made you question your partner's respect for equality in the relationship. Either way, this is a chance to discuss expectations and teamwork. Solutions might include creating a chore schedule that adjusts for fluctuating workloads or agreeing on language that respects both partners’ efforts. When you’re thinking about what to do if your partner says something similar, consider the context and your overall communication patterns. Is this an isolated incident or part of a broader issue? Seek to address the underlying attitudes rather than just the words. If your partner is willing to reflect and change, suggesting educational resources about gender roles or relationship equality might help. Ultimately, keeping a home running smoothly is a team sport. Both partners need to feel seen and supported, and that includes not just splitting tasks but also respecting each other's time, stress levels, and contributions. This approach can strengthen your bond and prevent resentment from building up over so-called "women’s jobs." Discussions about chores and roles are healthy and necessary, especially in demanding life phases, and can lead to a more balanced and fulfilling partnership.
First of all he’s just a boyfriend that’s a wife privilege if he wants you to be cleaning majority of the time he needs to be providing for you 100% if he wants to go by gender roles he needs to follow his gender roles as well. tell him to man up and provide 100% but as long as you are both working it should be both of you guys cleaning and splitting chores.