“You’re being Mean”
#momhottakes#lemon8challenge #lemon8tea
As a mom, I lose my frustration regularly. I have a 2 year old and 4 year old and it’s chaos in my house at any given moment. My house is always a mess, it always smells like pee, and the floor is always sticky. I’ve spent a lot of time fussing. There are so many worries as moms- down to screen time, nutrition, learning, reading- laundry. So much laundry. But I’ve learned a really important lesson in my time as a mum (whole 4 years, and a million parenting books later) that if they don’t have the capacity to understand explanations, and all they really want is attention, give it to them.
Today is a perfect example, my son’s new phrase he picked up is “you’re being mean” I tell him to change his clothes for school, he tells me “you’re being mean” over and over. Finally, I lose my patience. I take a deep breath and proceed to chase him around the house to catch him and show him what “mean” is! I finally catch him, and I tickle him until he laughs and giggles only to run away again. But this time he joyfully smiles and knows I’m just playing. When I catch him again, I tell him he has to have clothes on for school, even if I have to tackle him to the ground. And he finds that to be the best game possible, because he gets my attention. My focus- and he loves it.
Tonight as we are eating dinner he says it again “mama, you’re being mean” because he doesn’t want to eat the carrots, but this time he says so in a sing song voice with a smile on his face as he proceeds to eat his carrots.
All I’m sayin is, when they are little and don’t understand the nuances of some phrases or they are testing your patience sometimes you can’t explain it, you just have to go with it. Play is the language of small children and they usually act out the most when they need connection not lectures.
I love being a mom, especially when they test me. I’d rather play than be angry, and I think they do too.
Parenting toddlers often means facing moments filled with frustration and chaos, just like the experiences shared by many moms. When young children repeat phrases such as "you're being mean," it’s usually a way to express their feelings about boundaries or rules they don't yet understand. Toddlers often lack the language skills to communicate their emotions clearly, so they rely on simple phrases to get attention and express resistance. Understanding that play is the primary language of young children can transform these challenging moments into opportunities for bonding. Instead of reacting with anger, engaging in playful interactions—even when setting necessary limits—helps children feel secure and connected. For example, turning a routine task like changing clothes into a game or play session not only distracts the child from resistance but also strengthens the parent-child relationship. Toddlers also test their caregivers as a way to gauge limits and seek reassurance that their emotional needs will be met despite difficult behavior. By responding with patience and playful attention, parents teach children emotional resilience and the importance of connection. This approach helps reduce power struggles and encourages cooperation. Additionally, managing typical toddler messes and the exhausting daily demands of motherhood can be daunting, but recognizing the child’s need for attention over strict explanations can ease tensions. Sometimes, giving children the focused attention they seek through playful engagement is more effective than lengthy reasoning. Incorporating gentle humor and playful actions—like tickling or pretend tackling—also provides children with positive associations around discipline and routine, making necessary tasks more enjoyable. When a child repeats "you’re being mean" during mealtime or outfit changes with a smile or sing-song tone, it shows they are connecting playfully and feel safe. Ultimately, embracing play as a tool for communication and emotional connection creates a nurturing environment for toddlers. This method supports healthy development and helps parents navigate the demanding early years with resilience and joy.
