If you feel crushed, read this…
I’ve had a recurring dream lately of being crushed. Jumping awake at my head being slammed in a closing car trunk. Jumping awake at falling off buildings. Jumping awake at mountains of objects falling on me.
I have a lot of wonderful things happening in my life. My life looks enviable from the outside. I’m a solo parent of two sweet, healthy kids. I have a wonderful boyfriend. I have a full time career in education. I am paying off a house I’ll one day own. I have a side business of my passion, which I am growing into a full time endeavor. I have savings. I have a massive collection of books that comfort me just sitting in my presence, before I ever thumb their pages.
All of this. I still feel crushed.
The world. The responsibilities. The need and want to be alone more often than I am. The uncertainty that is life. The leak in my roof. The ever-mounting expenses of living. The comfort items I buy myself on impulse, because those little things keep me from going off an edge—or being crushed so hard I can’t get out of bed.
I have a million pieces of gratitude and they are regularly shaken loose by exhaustion and burn out. I’ve tried reducing my load. I take time for myself when I can. I force myself to spend money on treats.
Valuing yourself and balancing that with discipline is hard.
If you’re here, I’m here with you.
I’ve noticed this comes in waves. Good and bad luck. The ancient Norse called it Orlog and Wyrd. Your work doesn’t always equal your harvest—something all gardeners learn the hard way.
Eventually though, an abundant harvest comes and it’s then we can preserve and store for lean harvests that we also know will eventually come.
So that’s how I comfort myself. If things feel really heavy, I just have to keep going, and not add to the difficulties. I have to be nice to myself and the good harvest will come back. The lighter times will return. Hang in there 💗 #Lemon8Diary #vulnerablediaries #lemon8diarychallenge #journal #embracevulnerability
It's wild, isn't it? That feeling of being utterly crushed, even when from the outside, everything seems perfect. I know that feeling all too well. Beyond the vivid dreams of being trapped or falling, I've learned to recognize other, more subtle signs that I’m heading towards that overwhelming state. Maybe it’s the constant fatigue that no amount of sleep fixes, or the short temper that flares up at the slightest inconvenience. Sometimes, it’s a dull ache in my chest, or the inability to focus on anything for more than a few minutes. It's like my whole system is screaming for a pause button. I think a lot of us feel this way because of the invisible burdens we carry. It's not just the everyday tasks, but the weight of expectations – both from others and, often, from ourselves. We see curated highlight reels online, perfect lives unfolding, and silently wonder why we can't 'have it all' without feeling like we're crumbling. It's a constant pressure to perform, to be strong, to always be 'on.' When those waves of feeling crushed hit, I've found a few tiny things that help pull me back from the brink. It’s not about grand gestures, but small acts of self-kindness. For me, sometimes it's literally just stepping outside and taking a deep breath, focusing on the sky or a blooming bromeliad flower in my garden. There’s something grounding about connecting with nature, even if it’s just for a moment. I also love to find comfort in words, much like finding solace in a beloved book or a profound quote. The thought that 'the world is indeed full of peril... but still there is much that is fair' genuinely helps shift my perspective when things feel too heavy. Another thing that has been a game-changer for me is setting boundaries. It's incredibly hard, especially when you want to be everything to everyone, but learning to say "no" or "not right now" has freed up so much mental space. And honestly, sometimes it’s just about giving myself permission to do *nothing*. To sit by a window and stare at a scenic view of an ocean (even if it's just a picture on my wall!) or just let my mind wander. Remembering those delicate white flowers that push through cracks in pavement, or seeing the resilient palm trees standing tall against the wind, reminds me of our own inner strength. We’re more resilient than we think. What helps you when you feel utterly weighed down? Share your tips! We are all in this together, navigating these heavy feelings, and finding our own little ways to keep going until the lighter times return. We really can preserve and store for those leaner harvests, just as the original post beautifully put it. It requires conscious effort, but it’s so worth it.
@Lemon8 US @Captain Lemon8