Ep 2: I unknowingly became a 3rd party with someone i met on bumble for 3 weeks+

Continuation from ep 1… (please read ep1 first)

9 May (Sat): as usual, S said good morning and we texted the whole day and i randomly suggested we go bowling, as S needed to collect a gift at safra from his newly applied safra membership. He agreed and came to pick me up (yes we are super clingy, ytd met and next day also wanna meet) + shared live location while driving over (i always thought ppl who share this cannot be shady ppl). We went to Safra Toa Payoh counter for his watch collection first and bowling was relatively normal - I was quite competitive but just couldnt win him at it. He kept teasing me during the game whenever i missed the strike that he wanted to take picture of my disappointed/pissed off face. My bowling ball towel was also gross and i didnt want to use it, so he lent me his bowling ball towel to wipe the oil off my ball during the game. This is a nice gesture another bowler can offer to another.

After bowling, we were deciding where to eat, whether at safra toa payoh or somewhere else. Somehow, we brought up mookata and he was like lets go but we wanted somewhere with aircon, so we drove to bangkok street mookata restaurant at Thomson. Alas, the restaurant was packed and we left our number at the counter to queue for a table. We then went to the nearby petrol kiosk to get some drinks and walked around and he kept saying this is the area that his dad likes to hang out and drink. Then say wanna bring me to meet his dad as future daughter-in-law(???) + future laobanniang, then im like what? We arent even bf gf yet, then he said soon anyways? Not long later, the restaurant called him, so we walked back to the restaurant, he ordered prawns just so that he can cook them and peel them for me. I was like (???) cos i usually only like to eat pork belly during mookata, then he said “dont worry i peel” with a huge smile on his face. Of cos my heart melted, where got ppl so willing to peel prawn one? I didnt even suggest to order it?

After dinner, we even went for more walking around the area. He looked like he genuinely wanted me to meet his dad - idk for what but meeting parents should be a green flag right? During our walk, he even told me this story of him, L and a couple from his school (Hwa Chong International) at ion orchard - basically the gf of the couple wanted to go toilet and then the bf wanted her to accompany him to go somewhere asap and he got so annoyed that he eventually punched her in the bladder and caused her to pee on the spot. Then he said he told the bf off??? Okay not sure whats the point of him telling this story - maybe trying to paint himself as morally good or wtv. After the walk, he drove me home before my midnight “curfew” and i cannot shower again (he jokes that im cinderella).

Oh ya and everytime he sent me home, he still would park his car and walk up tgt just to send me to the doorstep one - all my other dates would just drop me at the drop off point and drive off. This gesture made him felt extra special because this is like really effort you know? In the lift when i was hugging him and about to leave, i almost leaned in to kiss him (it was just habitual for me to hug and kiss haha) and we both backed away awkwardly (see! Looked like he had no evil intentions) and said bye.

During the drive home, i also asked him why he liked me? Then he asked me back instead of answering the question, then i said “you are sweet and nice to me” and then he said that i am also liddis to him? Huhhh i was confused AF cos i dont think i was.

Most of our convo on text was really domestic - naming “our children” and how to layout “our house” next time and whether we should have a live-in domestic helper. We even clashed over whether we should have a live-in helper when we had kids. He was initially against it because he wanted more privacy at home, while I felt it would be essential. We somehow spent hours discussing helper arrangements, house layouts, robot vacuums, future children, CNY logistics and even possible baby names. If I was just a side chick, why would these conversations even matter?

S also talked about his oil industry uncles everyday talking about their piaks with gf + have wife also. Then i asked him if he also need a gf next time, then he said he is one-girl kinda man. S also shared that he only ever had sex with 1 girl and never got to finish (?) before in the multiple encounters he had with her cos “not fated”? - the girl who he wanted to marry (aka 1 year ago batam girl) but she left him cos she didnt want to get married and wanted to keep working on some events job. In my mind, im like thinking got girl so weird one meh?

There was only a few times he made weird horny jokes:

1. FTF before we even kissed, he randomly told me he shaved his little brother area, that left me abit like ???

2. I was taking a supplement for sleep that had spermidine in it and he responded saying “how can you eat some other sperm that is not mine?”

3. Him saying he wanna plan to give me a “dirty” massage

on text, S was always super sweet always say things like “tough to get hurt so many times. Ill be there for you ❤️” and he kept sending messages show how he is super morally upright like back in sch: there was a girl who was changing clothes and she asked him and L to watch her change clothes and he said he walked away but L stayed to watch. Free show and he say he rejected? Sure anot!?!?!

S also signed up for a Japanese Hot Stone therapy 40 session package at Ganbanyoku Spa for “us” apparently + ordered a bowling ball cloth in pink for me because i like pink. If you’re thinking why we didnt meet for 1 week, it was because he was in “reservice” camp apparently. Should be real cos he did also send me some camp photos but i realised some of the photos he sent me could be not in real time also. S told me that he changed my contact name to a heart shape etc and he always double text when i dont reply for a long time (i tot this was a green flag). We even sent each other house listings that we liked. During the texting throughout the week, we somehow made plans to go to jb ah meng on friday (15th) to eat their famous crab as he said he wanted to peel them for me.

In the middle of the week, i went drinking and clubbing with a guy friend. He texted me throughout the night till 4am and even wanted to book a car for me home again but i got my own transport. I was kinda drunk again and texted him to ask him how sure he was of me and he said “70-100” and the night ended with me texting him “i like you but im so scared that this is a bubble and you are cheating on your gf 🥲 and ill be left all by myself”. The next morning he still replied to my drunk confession: “i wont leave you all by yourself”.

15 May (Fri):

same as usual, we texted from morning with his usual “good morning”. In the evening, S texted that he was out of camp and asked if i was ready go out. I replied that i almost started my nap because he didnt tell me what time he would be out. He then replied saying he already booked a hotel for napping before our dinner. I was like whut? Hotel again? But okay, excited to see him, so asked him to faster come over to pick me up. He reached in less than 30 mins, as he drove to camp and said he drove directly from his camp. We then drove to the hotel to “nap” before our dinner. The hotel parking was quite hard to find and we went many rounds around the place (i think like 5 rounds) before we found it and he did not even lose his temper + really patient. Checked into the hotel and they had a nice cooking area. So he was saying how he wanted to cook steak for me (referencing Rubicon steakhouse) so i can get all the cuts i like - i love eating fats 😅 after awhile, i went to lie on the bed cos i was genuinely tired as i often have poor sleep (im an insomniac) and he went to shower in the toilet? I played some music and went to sleep. After he showered finish, he came to cuddle with me and kept tickling me non-stop again. I seriously dk whats up with the tickling (fyi tickling does not help to turn girls on, it only helps to turn girls off i think). I was thinking since he only had 1 sex partner before, maybe she likes it? In my mind was a load of ??? But definitely not turned on and somehow he managed to tickle until he came very close to my face and we started kissing and making out. But again, we did not proceed any further than that, i also told him i will not proceed further unless he showed me his cousin wedding photo tomorrow + he needs to officially ask me to be his gf.

Soon, it was time for our dinner at jb ah meng and so we started driving there. The parking is very limited at that area, so we parked quite far and had to walk 10 mins to the restaurant. Along the way, there were some “chickens” at the shopfronts and he kept telling me if he was walking alone, they would all chiong him. Then i was like ok, you walk alone first lo, i want to see how they chiong you. Then S said “you sure you wanna let another girl touch me?” And i thought about it and was like no, lets go tgt and we held hands and walked there. During the walk, he was also gentlemanly and put himself on the outer area of the road while i got to walk inside (its a protection thingy that most gentlemanly guys know to do). And here i was thinking green flag again!

We reached the restaurant, ordered 2 medium pepper crabs, 1 medium chaotah beehoon (the restaurant’s specialty) and also some fermented pork belly (he said he could tell i wanted to eat?). The beehoon and the pork belly came first, as usual he helped me to kiap most of the food. The crab came like 5 mins after the first 2 dishes, i stopped eating and stared at the crab. He could tell that i wanted to start the crab now and said “come i peel for you”. Firstly, S took out a pincer (cos i told him i love pincer meat) and started peeling, in less than a min he was done and placed it on my bowl - my very first peeled crab from someone! No one had ever peeled crabs for me, i was so touched that i almost teared. He then continued peeling a leg and i tot he was peeling for himself, he was super expert and cracking the crab, all the meat in the leg came out easily and he placed them as huge chunks on my plate again. I was like ??? Cos he hasnt started eating and told him to stop peeling for me and peel some for himself, fed him some of what i peeled too hahah, it was definitely nowhere as good what he peeled for me for sure.

S still told me he learnt his expert peeling crabs skill from his grandmother and i was the first girl he ever peeled crabs for and that i make him wanna do things for me. He even shared that he has never even peeled crabs for himself, his dad would always help peel for him and his mom. At this point i was like “i feel so special”.

During the dinner, we saw another family with kids and most of their food was untouched. So i was commenting “no helper with kids and that would be us, no time to eat cos busy feeding the kids only” and then he finally agreed that having a helper would be good. In my mind, i was like “yay finally can have helper”!

The rest of the dinner was not really eventful. After eating, washing our hands + settling the bill, we drove back to the hotel. It was more cuddling + kissing and weird tickling again 🙃. As tomorrow was the cousin A wedding in the afternoon, he said he would need to send me home early cos he has some ferrying duties for relatives + my “midnight curfew”.

16 May (Sat): cousin A wedding d-day - texted me good morning like normal and told me about the errands he had to run for his cousin’s wedding. When i asked S for the cousin A wedding photo, he said havent gotten a chance to take cos very busy and need to take over the duties of some of the cousin A’s friends cos they called in sick. Then i was like so sus, no one would called in sick on your close friends’ wedding, even if i was almost dying, i would make it cos i had duties to do? So i asked him what illness - then he said food poisoning + he kena niam alr cos he was asking alot of questions and the cousin felt like he didnt wanna help out. Guilt tripping me but i pushed through and i still asked him for pics of the wedding deco cos “i never go before wedding at pan pac”. It was an excuse, even if i went before, i would say that haha. He did take a picture that says “J & A” wedding. Then i reminded him to take pic with the bride and he says “tough leh, she alr ask photographer dont take her alr. I try ❤️” this should have been a glaring red flag, which bride doesnt want people to take photos of them on their big day? But ok i somehow believed it again and ask him take photos of her secretly.

Then he said “oh my mum took just now, i ask my mum for photo later. Ok you have a photo heh” he did eventually send a photo of the bride and groom at the stage doing their speech. The girl in the photo was looking down and it was very hard to tell if the ❤️ ig girl and the bride were the same girl, i even ran the photos by chatgpt but cannot form any conclusion that they are not the same person. Also if i continued asking further for another pic, it might be pushing it if he was really telling the truth. So i let it slide and we continued chatting like normal throughtout his cousin A’s wedding. I was also secretly happy that it sort of proved that he didnt have a secret gf.

S told me he went to hang in the bridal suite till late and got dinner with the relatives and all + made plans to meet me that night too but no specific timing other than after dinner. He came at around 10:30pm, picked me up and we went to Pasir Ris Park to mostly chat and made out more. He finally showed some wolf colours and tried to put his finger into me, i shoved him off as i wasnt ready for it. He shared more stories about his ex from sch that was a girl that everyone wanted but no one knew how to chase her cos she only likes books. So he went to chase her just to get her and everyday write poems to her. Then this ex de father is some super rich guy that gives the daughter everything. Thats why she is super hard to chase. In the end, he let the relationship taper off and called it quits + call himself young and stupid cos he didnt even like the girl. Again, not so sure whats the point of such a detailed story if its not true.

After the short tryst in the car, we drove back and he sent me home before midnight again (yup poor cinderella aka me).

17 May (Sun):

the day that everything came to light.

Morning started normal, him texting that he had brunch at some Punggol restaurant with his family and it tasted horrible. In between the texts, i was having a war at work and didnt reply him for hours and he kept double texting me like he was genuinely worried if i disappeared. S told me he was washing his NS stuff at some laundry place cos his mom doesnt allow him to wash dirty stuff at home (?) and even took pic of the laundry place and him hanging his laundry - yup so i guess he really had reservice. We even made plans to go for the hot stone thingy on mon/wed/fri next week and he booked the sessions: yes hes so free that he wanted to meet me thrice the next week? Definitely doesnt sound like someone hiding a secret gf right?

At 6 plus, i sent my gf J a photo of the cousin A and the “gxxxxxxxgxxxxtxx” profile (let’s call her G for short) to ask if they looked like the same girl. Yes i often think long about a topic even after sorta closing the issue. Im an overthinker like that - finally my overthinking finally did some good. J was a super detective and immediately found kissing photos of G and S on G’s threads. There were not only kissing but had more intimate photos posted on Threads. Somehow during my CSI on the first week, i overlooked Threads, i checked FB, tiktok, linkedin and IG only. I was in utter shock, who dafug would kiss his cousin and those were all posted just a year ago.

After seeing the pics, i was so disgusted and didnt even feel like confronting him at all and was thinking to just block and move on. Even if he wasn’t hiding a secret gf, he definitely lied to me. I cannot take lying or betrayals cos i know a leopard would never change its spots. J advised that if i liked him alot and need the closure, then i should confront him. I was thinking huh tmrw meet and go hot stones then confront him? So weird. So J asked if i confront him, whats the outcome im hoping for. Of course its for him to explain this reasonably to me or just to see what kind of new shit he can come out with.

J also suggested that i message G about S. It was unclear from the Threads posts whether they broke up but from the profile with the ❤️ then cannot be as they were both recently active. I had a friend who was following G and asked him to check on her recent posts - my friend confirmed no guys in her IG postings previously, thats why i continued to date S previously and he even accepted my follow request and was also actively viewing my stories everyday. My friend helped to ss some of G’s stories for me and i saw her posting a story of herself at a coffee place i introduced to S during one of our dates - i immediately knew that they were still tgt. There was also another ig story that G posted herself at an onsen place called Sabaai Sabaai in which S told me he really likes going.

In between like 4pm to like 6pm, S was also like MIA on my texts, which fits the whole story that he was definitely tgt with G at those places. At 6pm plus, he still got the cheek to tell me he went back to office to work and sent me some office photo wtf + still had the cheek to say “yeah many many emails. sorry i reply late. You miss me?”. + “i scared you dont believe im in office”. Anyway, G didnt reply or read my message to her about S. But i think i managed to keep it fairly normal in my texts to S but im a sucky liar, so i decided that i must confront him tonight if i wanna get any sleep tonight. S told me he was going to eat sushiro at wisma then i sent my trap message “btw im moody tonight, can you come keep me accompanied? 💕” HAHA not exactly a lie except for the hearts LOL totally was not feeling it. Then he told me okay sure after dinner but not sure what time. I then told him “just come by later, dont care about curfew 😛”

S really came by at 11 plus prolly expecting more “happy time”, i got into his car and he tried to hold my hand. I was like “dont touch me first, i need to ask you something serious”. I continued saying “i know youve been lying to me about something, want to tell me the truth now?” S shook his head. “If you dont tell me the truth, then we’re done.” S still continued shaking his head and said he dont know what im talking about. I lost it. “Let me make this simpler. What exactly is your relationship with G?” He still continued with the cousin A story and said he already sent her wedding pic to me. I really imploded then and started showing him my evidence of him and G kissing “huh? You kiss your cousin? Incest ah? You still dont want to explain?” He continued shaking his head. I was done with this shit and i got out of the car and went home.

By the time i went home and checked my tele, he had already deleted our entire chat and blocked me. He also blocked me on ig and Bumble. So needless to say, he was cheating on G and i was just his side chick for 3 weeks. Couldnt believe it. Was i living in a bubble for the entire 3 weeks!?!? And before he blocked me, he also changed his tele username again to “provxxxxee”. So girls please beware of this guy with all these 3 usernames!!! Incase you dk, xxx is censored, its not an actual x in the username. I believe he will confirm cheat on her again. Btw he can easily change to a new username again so just beware of any guy’s name who starts with S.

Anyway, i managed to contact G and told her about S cheating on her. Showed her many evidence. Even tho he cleared our chat, he didnt know i had a habit of ss-ing our entire convo into chatgpt to analyse our chats, so i had tons of evidence on him. G was telling me that S often lies to her and when she confronts S, he will scream, shout and throw things!?!? Semo sai… i was dating such a guy? Helps.

Anyway, from the convo that i had with G, she told me that S had previously removed her from his IG profile and put back already. So i wasnt imagining it at all, the profile was really empty when i first checked it. From what G shared, S told her he was in reservice since 27th Apr and had to go to the forest where there was no reception and so he turned off his location tag and went missing for sorta 3 weeks. Weekends when he was with me, S told G that his arm extended by 3 days from 15th to 17th May to “clean weapon”.

Wow what kind of crazy act is this, S should really win the star awards leh. Oh and G doesnt really use tele, thats why S could text me non-stop on there. S also has 2 phones, one in which he told me is a work phone, could be 2 diff numbers too. I dont think G ever confronted S on the cheating cos i saw her posting photos with S even after what i told her. Wtv, not my problem anymore. Just cant believe i got played so badly by a cheater who acted noob. Till today, i still feel mindfked at times and still have serious trust issues.

Sent him a closure message for the sake of my own sanity from my another Telegram account (i have 2 phone numbers for genuine work) - refer to 2nd pic.

Moral of the story: EVERYTHING WAS A LIE. just because someone is ticking off all the green flags doesnt mean that they are not a walking red flag. SADLY 🙃

Okay, we have come to end of this series. Thanks for reading 💕