Why we waited so long to get married 💍🤍
So many people are shocked when I tell them how long my fiancé and I have been together (7 years) and then again when I tell them how long our engagement is (almost 2 years).
Some of the reasons for our longer timeline:
🤍 We started dating at 17 and 18 years old, even looking back now we were just babies 🥹 by the time we will be getting married, I will be 26 and my fiancé will be 27. We are almost entirely different people than we were back then, but growing together as both individuals and as a couple was essential for our relationship to go the distance.
🤍 We did long distance for the first 4 years of our relationship (college), Santa Barbara and Boulder. Even after 4 years of being together, we hadn’t been physically near each other for longer than a few months at a time.
🤍 We wanted some financial stability before starting this next chapter, and it took 2-3 years after undergrad to get some stead(ier) footing. He was able to stay with his parents and save money while I kept going on with school, knowing that I wouldn’t have a solid income for several more years
🤍 I had to move away again for med school, and because of work he couldn’t come be with me until 2 years in, and we had always wanted to live together (at least a little) before getting married
🤍 A long engagement makes it easier to plan a wedding especially as a med student 🫶🏻
🤍 We have been through so many stages of life together (ups and downs of life, medical challenges, family losses) which gives us the reassurance that we can make it through anything ♥️
Takeaway: everyone is on their own timeline, and what makes sense for one couple may not make sense for another. It’s easy to assume things about another’s relationship from the outside, but ultimately everyone is doing what is best for them. If you’re feeling rushed by what you’re seeing from your friends online, focus your own unique path 💗
#longtermrelationship #engaged #wedding #relationshipadvice #marriage
Building a relationship that stands the test of time, like our seven-year journey has, truly comes down to understanding your unique rhythm as a couple. For anyone feeling the pressure or simply curious about stretching out the 'getting married' timeline, here are a few more things my fiancé and I learned along the way. One of the biggest hurdles we faced was long-distance during college. It wasn't easy, but it taught us invaluable communication skills. We made a point to schedule regular video calls, not just quick check-ins, but proper 'date nights' where we'd cook the same meal or watch a movie together. Trust became our bedrock, and learning to manage expectations about visits and future plans was crucial. If you're in a similar situation, remember that consistent effort and a shared vision for the future can make miles feel like inches. Another huge factor for us was financial stability. It’s not the most romantic topic, but it’s incredibly practical. We talked openly about our individual career goals and how we wanted to build our lives. For us, this meant my fiancé saving aggressively while living with his parents, and me focusing on my medical studies without the immediate pressure of a dual income. We set small, achievable financial milestones together, which made the larger goal of a stable future feel less daunting. This period wasn't just about saving money; it was about building a strong financial partnership even before we said 'I do.' And speaking of 'I do,' our long engagement (almost two years!) has been a blessing. Initially, some people raised an eyebrow, but it's given us so much breathing room. As a med student, my schedule is unpredictable, and trying to plan a wedding amidst rotations would be a nightmare! This extended timeline has allowed us to truly savor the engagement period, make thoughtful decisions without feeling rushed, and even put a little more aside for our dream wedding. It’s also given us more time to grow into our roles as future spouses, ensuring we’re both mentally and emotionally prepared for this next chapter. Finally, don't let anyone else's timeline dictate yours. We started dating on March 11th, 2017, and looking back at that young couple, we’ve transformed so much. Our relationship has evolved through so many stages – from young love to navigating severe medical challenges and family losses. These shared experiences, both the joyous and the heartbreaking, have solidified our bond in ways nothing else could. It's a testament to the strength we've built over these seven years. Seeing those early photos, like the one from March 11th, 2017, reminds us of how far we've come. Your journey is uniquely yours, filled with its own challenges and triumphs. Focus on what feels right for your partnership, and you’ll create a love story that's truly authentic and enduring.
