Why do we attract people in trouble?

Why do we tend to attract only people who leave problems?

...Or have to be "carrying" parties.

The other person's mood all the time?

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As we slowly trace girls back to childhood, we often find a very interesting link.

Many grew up in families where they had to take on the role of "tiny adults."

Someone must be "Sirani," listening to my mother vent her suffering about my father.

Someone has to be a "radar" to observe the emotions of the house to keep the peace from fighting.

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Psychologically, we call this trauma Emotional Parenting (the child's having to bear the emotions of an adult).

As a child, you may be praised for being a good, outgrown, or dependent child...

But you know, under those praises, some cases "may" cause a small child's nervous system to be compelled to learn that...

"I'll be safe and valuable only if I put everyone in a good mood."

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When we carry this set of ideas to grow, it affects

"Relationship patterns" in our full marriage.

In the view of psychological research, this picture is very profound: this wound often leads us to grow up with two main paths to survive:

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1. Become a magnet for toxic relationships

We're going to put ourselves in the Toxic Relationship cycle.

We always love people with wounds. People who need healing.

Because subconsciously, we're used to being "saviors."

This mental burden is often an intermediary that brings back childhood sadness and anxiety disorders that repeatedly hurt us as we grow up.

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2. Build a strong wall so that no one can hurt again.

To prevent yourself.

Had to go back to a state of family chaos.

And unpredictable in the past.

So some people chose to build a thick wall.

They may seem cold, not very interested in other people's feelings.

Or try to control a lover (Machiavellianism personality-like).

Deep down, he's not insidious, he's just so scared of uncertainty that he has to use control over others as a "self-defense mechanism."

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Sounds like the past has drawn a painful path for us, right?

But wait, sir...The beauty of this is that there is always a hidden "solution."

What these studies have found is the same...

A heavy past will never poison us.

If today we can change the meaning of these experiences,

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That's true...It was exhausting and unfair.

That a child must sit and bear the sadness of an adult.

But in that misfortune, it has shaped you to become a person of very high empathy, a person who has the sense of caring for others.

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If today you learn to bring those skills and strength to draw clear boundaries (Boundaries) to yourself,

And choose to use it to create a Nourishing Relationship.

A painful past will be turned into pride and become your strongest immunity.

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Hold yourself tight. 🤍

Credit - Doctor Wop Natchai (Psychiatrist) - 📌📌

(Reference source:

Láng A. Perceived childhood emotional parentification is associated with Machiavellianism in men but not in women. Polish Psychological Bulletin.2016.

Soltanian M, et al.Parentification and the family system in female adolescents. BMC Pediatrics.2025.

Gavcar EG, Gavcar E. When carriage becomes a burden: childhood parentification...BMC Psychology.2026.7)

# Continue a relationship with the inner soul

# children

# Psychology