my queer journey (so far)
some things have changed so I decided to make an updated version of my experiences with gender identity.
i started female enough as a kid and didn’t really think about identity. i hated sports and boy stuff and loved dolls. hated pink because it was associated with being a girl, but i grew out of this.
i can pinpoint when i started exploring sexuality as around the middle school years. i knew i liked women and questioned if i like men. but i remember reading fanfiction and wishing I was one of the boy love interests. being trans never crossed my mind at the time, but i remember wishing i was a feminine guy so bad.
i began exploring gender more during covid and experimenting with pronouns, changing my name, and coming out as nonbinary.
but the big change happened in winter 2024 to 2025.
i became so uncomfortable with others perception of me to the point where i was crying everyday. i cut my hair in my bedroom and things changed. i started experimenting with he/him pronouns and thinking about myself as a man overall. i realized i can be both a man and feminine, i don’t have to choose.
i’m at the point now where i’m thinking about coming out to my family to change my name legally. i haven’t done that yet due to nerves and lack of time, but i scheduled TRT and am currently waiting for clearance from my cardiologist. as soon as that’s done im going to be starting hormones. in the future i want to experiment more with shorter hair, but im not there at the moment.
2025 was one hell of a year for me but if there’s one thing i’m grateful for, it’s finally coming to terms with who i am as a person and not letting other people influence this experience. this is my journey and mine alone.
The journey of exploring gender identity often unfolds over many years, and it’s inspiring to see such authentic sharing about this deeply personal experience. Many people who identify as transmasc or nonbinary navigate complex emotions during their transition, especially when it comes to understanding their own pronouns and presentation. The experience of gender dysphoria and discomfort with how others perceive you can be really challenging, sometimes leading to emotional moments like crying daily as described here. This highlights the importance of mental health support and creating safe environments. Cutting hair and experimenting with masculine presentation, like adopting he/him pronouns, is a meaningful step that helps solidify one’s identity. It’s also important to acknowledge that gender expression is fluid and nonbinary individuals can embrace masculinity and femininity simultaneously without pressure to conform to rigid categories. The decision to wait for cardiology clearance before starting testosterone replacement therapy (TRT) is a responsible and necessary medical step, as hormone therapy requires careful health monitoring. Legal name changes and coming out to family members are additional important milestones that often involve anxiety and anticipation. In 2025, many transmasc individuals are benefiting from improved healthcare resources, community support, and online platforms where sharing stories like this can offer solidarity and guidance. Queer communities frequently emphasize that each person's journey is uniquely theirs, reinforcing the message that no one else should dictate how one lives their gender experience. This candid reflection can encourage others who are questioning or exploring gender identity to be patient, seek out affirming support, and trust their inner truth. Ultimately, embracing one's authentic self without external influences is the breakthrough many seek. For those considering hormone therapy or any gender-affirming care, connecting with knowledgeable healthcare professionals and local LGBTQ+ organizations can provide vital assistance. This story also touches on the value of self-exploration during isolating times like the COVID pandemic, where many found the space to reflect and grow. Sharing these milestones publicly not only empowers the author but helps widen societal understanding of transgender and queer experiences.
PERIODD TWINN