You will treat me well or won’t have access.
It took me a long time to understand what self-respect truly means, and even longer to consistently live by its principles. For years, I found myself in situations where I felt undervalued, taken for granted, or simply not seen for who I was. I was a people-pleaser, constantly putting others' needs before my own, and frankly, I was exhausted. It wasn't until I hit a breaking point that I realized the profound truth: 'You will treat me well or won't have access.' This wasn't about being arrogant; it was about protecting my energy and my peace. So, what exactly does self-respect mean? For me, it’s not just about demanding respect from others; it's fundamentally about how I treat myself and what I allow into my life. It’s an inner knowing of your inherent worth, regardless of external validation. It’s the quiet confidence that allows you to stand firm in your values, even when it’s uncomfortable. It's that feeling where *I know what peace feels like*, and I’m determined to maintain it. Cultivating self-respect was a journey, and honestly, it’s still ongoing. If you're looking for some advice on how to build yours, here's what truly helped me: First, define your non-negotiables. What are the things you absolutely need to feel respected, safe, and happy? For me, it was realizing I needed honesty, reliability, and emotional safety in my relationships. Once I identified these, it became much easier to recognize when they were being violated. Second, and perhaps the most challenging part, is setting clear boundaries. This is where the 'You will treat me well or won't have access' mantra really comes into play. It means communicating your limits kindly but firmly. For instance, if someone consistently cancels last minute, a boundary might be: 'I understand things come up, but if you cancel again without much notice, I'll need more advanced planning for our next get-together.' It’s about teaching people how to treat you by showing them what you will and won't accept. Sometimes, it means having the courage to say, 'Get somebody else to do it' if a request oversteps your boundaries or takes away from your peace. It’s not selfish; it’s self-preservation. Third, practice saying 'no' without guilt. This was a huge one for me. I used to feel immense pressure to agree to every request, every social invitation, even when I was drained. Now, I understand that 'no' is a complete sentence. Saying 'no' to something that doesn't align with your values or energy is saying 'yes' to yourself and your well-being. Finally, prioritize your own well-being. Self-respect blooms when you nourish your mind, body, and soul. This could be anything from a quiet evening with a book (maybe even joining a #lemon8bookclub!), to a solo walk, or simply taking a moment to breathe. It’s about recognizing that you are worthy of care and attention from yourself, first and foremost. When you truly value yourself, it becomes easier to attract people and situations that reflect that value. *I love it!* Embracing self-respect has transformed my life, bringing a deeper sense of calm and authenticity. It’s about honoring the incredible person you are and creating a life where you genuinely *know what peace feels like*. You deserve nothing less.
