It’s ok to say I am Bothered…
In this space, we talk a lot about hope.
And I get it… it matters.
But I also think it’s ok to say this is hard.
I’m kind of in this in-between space.
I’m a carrier.
I have symptoms.
But I’m not at the point where treatment is used.
So I wait.
And if I’m being honest… I’m not always sure what the right next step is.
It’s like… you’re paying attention, you’re trying to stay ahead of it,
but there’s no clear path of what to actually do.
And that part is hard.
Because I’ve seen what this can look like.
And I know there are treatments…
but they’re tied to when things are more clear, more advanced.
So for now it’s just… waiting, watching, trying to make the right decisions without really knowing what “right” is yet.
I don’t think we talk about that part enough.
Living with hATTR amyloidosis, particularly as a carrier experiencing early symptoms but not yet requiring treatment, can often feel like walking a tightrope of uncertainty. From my personal experience, this in-between phase is filled with a constant effort to stay vigilant without clear guidance on what the next steps should be. It’s a unique kind of stress that isn’t often discussed openly – the emotional and mental toll of waiting and watching your body. One thing I’ve learned is that practice patience and develop a routine for monitoring symptoms closely. This might include regular check-ups, blood tests, or imaging as advised by specialists who understand amyloidosis. Having a healthcare team that listens and helps navigate this uncertainty is invaluable. Another key aspect is seeking support from communities like #hATTRNextGen or amyloidosis awareness groups. Connecting with others who share similar experiences can provide comfort, insight, and practical advice on managing day-to-day life while waiting for clearer treatment pathways. It’s also essential to acknowledge your feelings honestly. Saying "I’m bothered" or "this is hard" is a valid part of coping and doesn’t diminish hope. Accepting these emotions can help prevent feelings of isolation and empower you to advocate for your health needs more effectively. Finally, staying informed about advancements in treatment options helps maintain a sense of agency; new therapies are continuously improving outcomes, especially as research evolves on when to intervene. While the wait is difficult, it allows time for preparation and creating a personalized health strategy with your care team. In summary, if you’re in that waiting phase with hATTR amyloidosis symptoms but not yet on treatment, remember you’re not alone. Embracing the difficulty, seeking community, maintaining communication with healthcare providers, and allowing space for your genuine emotions can provide strength during this uncertain yet hopeful journey.