The parts of me that needs healing the most are often the parts I judge the hardest. But, I’m learning that judgement keeps the nervous system guarded. It makes me hide, defend, perform, apologize for existing, or stay stuck in shame. Healing usually needs the opposite conditions: safety, ho

I have sacrificed my own well-being, despite my illness, to prioritize the comfort of others and now I’m drowning.

Letting go never felt safe or voluntary; it felt like abandonment, survival, or being left behind. I’ve experienced repeated painful losses and became emotionally vigilant. I replay conversations, hold onto hope, revisit memories, keep emotional doors cracked open — not because I enjoy suffering

Occasionally, I become disenchanted with my own self-deception. The conflict between emotions and rationality. The anxiety. Simply coexist and allow others to do the same, releasing unnecessary burdens. It's merely existence. Existence is for those who are alive.