My Hell Experience With My MIL 🔥 ( Part 3 )
Part 3: Confinement Period
By the time confinement started, I was already exhausted — physically, mentally, emotionally.
What I didn’t expect was how intrusive, unreliable, and boundary-less things would become.
1) CCTV access — a mistake I regret till today
At the beginning, I thought I was being reasonable.
Instead of her constantly asking for baby photos, I gave my MIL access to our CCTV so she could see the baby.
Honestly, I wasn’t thinking straight after delivery. I was recovering and thought this would be the easiest solution.
It wasn’t.
She started spying on the baby.
Till today, my baby is almost 5 months old, and that entire side of the family has never once come by to visit their grandchild.
Instead, they expect us to bring the baby over.
2) CCTV turned into meddling
One day, my husband and I had an argument.
She overheard it through the CCTV.
What did she do?
She spam-called my husband non-stop.
I told her off clearly:
This is a husband-and-wife issue.
Do not meddle.
Did she stop?
No.
She continued spamming him.
And guess what we fought about?
Her.
That was the final straw.
I removed her access to the CCTV.
3) New problem: daily photo demands
Once CCTV access was gone, a new issue started.
She began requesting my husband to send baby photos daily.
Daily.
No visit.
No actual help.
Just constant demands for access.
4) “Help” during confinement — only on her terms
Near the end of my confinement, I considered letting MIL help out a little.
I work from home 2 days a week, and she doesn’t work — so helping 3 days sounded reasonable, right?
Wrong.
Even in the last 3 days, she showed zero initiative to come over or learn anything.
So I pushed my husband to ask her.
Same old drama.
She needed my husband to:
• pick her up
• send her home
That’s when we fought.
I told him straight:
If that’s the case, I don’t need her help.
She doesn’t work.
She can’t take a cab?
Why must my husband escort her back and forth, when I needed him with me?
5) 满月 prayers — traditional, but completely unprepared
They’re extremely traditional, so they insisted on doing prayers for baby’s 满月.
FIL went overseas.
MIL claimed she didn’t know how to prepare anything.
She kept calling me repeatedly to ask what to prepare.
I had already:
• typed out a full list
• told her to confirm details with FIL
I didn’t want phone calls.
I was tired.
Still, she kept calling.
Even red eggs, she didn’t know how to prepare.
She kept saying:
“I don’t know how to do this.”
“Do we need to buy more things?”
I told her:
Keep it simple.
You’re always worried about finances — don’t overdo it.
Buy so much food for what, just to waste later?
6) Priorities that said everything
When we finally reached their place, prayers started.
But her priorities were clear.
She wanted:
• photos of the baby
• to put gold on the baby
• to adjust the gold and take more photos
Then she asked me:
“Do you want to keep the gold or…?”
Honestly?
I wasn’t in the mood.
I was emotionally done.
I just said:
You keep it lah.
At that point, nothing mattered anymore.
#motherinlaws #motherinlawproblems #motherinlaw #MIL #familyproblems
Navigating the confinement period postpartum can be incredibly taxing, especially when family dynamics add extra layers of stress. In many cultures, confinement—or postpartum care—is critical for a new mother's recovery, involving rest, specific foods, and limited visitors. However, when boundaries are blurred, such as giving your MIL access to CCTV, the experience can quickly turn invasive rather than supportive. From personal experience, allowing extended family digital access may seem like a convenient way to involve them, but it often leads to overstepping privacy. It's important to carefully consider and communicate clear limits about what’s acceptable, especially when it concerns your newborn and your emotional space. Another aspect highlighted is the daily insistence on baby photos. While family members may be eager to see the new arrival, constant demands without visits or direct support can feel more like pressure than love. Setting expectations early on and gently reminding relatives that their presence matters more than constant updates might help reduce tension. Additionally, expecting help during confinement but only on specific terms—such as requiring to be picked up and dropped off—can place unreasonable burdens on the new mother and her partner. Open conversations about what kind of help is actually needed and what is feasible for everyone involved are essential. Sometimes, saying no to inconvenient help is necessary to preserve energy and mental health during recovery. Traditional rituals like 满月 (the full-month celebration) are important cultural milestones but can become stressful if unprepared or too demanding. Simplifying such events and communicating clearly about expectations, including budget and preparation, allows the emphasis to stay on celebration rather than conflict. Ultimately, the emotional toll of such postpartum experiences cannot be underestimated. Through clear communication, setting boundaries around privacy and involvement, and prioritizing personal well-being, new parents can better manage family interactions and make the confinement period more peaceful. Sharing stories like this shines a light on the common struggles many face and encourages empathy and support within families during this vulnerable time.
If you knew during dating process your future MIL was like that you sure will leave your man. Your marriage and love you just rush in to secure your man and your relantionship.