Grief.

Grieving the sudden loss of someone, even if you haven't spoken in years, is an intensely disorienting experience. I remember when I first heard the news about a fatal accident that claimed the lives of several people; it was hard to process the feelings flooding in. Grief doesn’t always follow the rules we expect. It can strike unexpectedly, bringing a mix of shock, sadness, guilt, and even anger. One difficult part is the relentless replaying of memories—both good and difficult—and the constant questions that haunt you, like "Was it quick?" or "Was there pain?" These questions can make it even harder to find closure. It’s important to acknowledge these feelings without judgment. There’s no right or wrong way to grieve. Sleep disturbances are also common; when your mind won’t stop analyzing every moment, rest becomes elusive. I found that gently allowing myself small moments of rest helped, along with talking about the loss with trusted friends or support groups. Sharing stories about the person’s unique quirks and how they used to pop in with humor helped keep their memory alive in a positive way. Lastly, it’s okay if the reality of the loss doesn’t sink in immediately. Grief evolves over time and can feel surreal. What helped me was focusing on the legacy the person left behind and honoring that in small personal ways, such as creating a memory journal or participating in a cause they cared about. Remember, healing is a journey, and it’s okay to take the time you need.