Today is His Birthday! 🎂
I have been wanting to chronicle my pregnancy journey for a while, so I am going to take advantage of the anniversary of the day I gave birth to give me extra initiative to finally do so. If you have any questions please feel free to comment 💕
Luckily my best friend, and godmother to my son, saved the text updates from my birth so I have a great timeline of when my labor occurred.
Active Labor Hours: ~18 hours
HERE WE GO….
OVERVIEW: I had a rather normal pregnancy! The first trimester was the worst and I/my baby survived off of saltine crackers and water- nothing seemed appetizing.
CRAVINGS 😋: The only thing(s) I really craved were fruit because they were sweet and hydrating which was important because I remember being thirstier than usual. Plus I have a sweet tooth so it was a win-win. Then my other craving was weird… the smell of fresh tree wood. I discovered this craving by accident. I was always active and remained so during my pregnancy so my boyfriend, my dog and I still went on walks often. The trail we frequented had a new apartment building they were constructing and for whatever reason walking by the buildings was my favorite part of the walk! The smell of the wood was very strong - I am attributing this to pregnancy hormones for sure.
HOW I PREPARED 📚: I traded in my typical workout app and downloaded a prenatal yoga app that I used regularly to help keep me moving and prepare for labor. I found a community called “ All About Pregnancy and Birth with Nicole Rankins” and went through a training about what was to come and what to expect. My future mother in law also blessed me with different books for me to read to prepare me on my journey. I also read “Oh Sis, Your Pregnant” which was a book about black maternity. I appreciated this book the most given the black maternity crisis in America.
I also loved using the “What to Expect” website to find out what size my baby was each few weeks and what body parts were being developed.
This was an unexpected pregnancy so I dedicated myself to preparing as much as possible.
DOULA 🤱🏾: To prepare I also hired a doula who exceeded all of my expectations! I moved to a new area right before COVID came in full force. So I didn’t really have a chance to make friends and my friends and family weren’t making any visits to see us.
My Doula, Cecil, was young and it was like having a friend there helping me prepare for labor which I really appreciated. To try to help avoid an induction she offered different tips and tricks to help induce induction, and even made me a special incense to put in my diffuser that was supposed to help as well. We even drove around one day looking for some raspberry leaf tea, which took forever to find but we eventually did - I think at target. I still have them till this day!!
None of the induction tricks worked but it was so fun to try them out. Again her effort was out of this world!!
Her pricing on a sliding scale based on one’s income which was super helpful!
Her services also included pictures to be taken, videos, and she would be the primary person texting our select group of friends and family to provide updates. I really appreciated having some extra feminine energy in the room as en extra source of peace and reassurance.
To go even more above and beyond she provided me a little postpartum care package and even texted me on his first birthday to see how everything was going! I am planning to send her a text today with some pictures ❤️
CONCERNS 😳: At one point they were concerned about the development of my son’s kidneys but that resolved itself as he continued “cooking” and with family prayers. The community I found with Nicole Rankins also had a private Facebook group and I voiced my concerns there and as an, OB herself, she help set my mind at ease about what may have come of his situation was it still the case because her child had a similar concern.
The Day before my Induction: My future mother in law and my boyfriend’s brother and sister came down from NY the weekend I was set to be induced to watch our dog while we went to hospital and to see meet their new family member! My boyfriend and I had a very difficult time sleeping knowing that our lives were going to change forever in the best way within a few (turned out to be more than a few 🙃) hours.
Arriving at the Hospital: We got to the hospital around 9a. When I got there,to my surprise, they informed me I was 4cm dilated. Leading up to the day I wasn’t have any Braxton Hicks so I thought I wouldn’t be as dilated as I was.
It was only my boyfriend and doula who were allowed in my room. Luckily COVID was being managed a bit better so I was allowed 2 people max. My doula accidentally went to the wrong hospital because there are a bunch of INOVA hospitals in the area. It was okay though because she arrived quickly and didn’t miss much. Ohh so I thought… before my doula arrived one of the nurses was sorta explaining how everything would happen etc.. and when my doula arrived she introduced herself and what not and the nurse was sorta rude and said something along the lines of “I wish you were here before to hear what I just said so I wouldn’t have to repeat anything” which was totally unnecessary. My doula explained why she was a little late and kept it pushing.. I don’t really remember seeing that nurse anytime after that.
PREPARING FOR LABOR 🎶: My doula bought a yoga ball, some string lights and a cloth that we practiced using days leading up to help manage labor pains. I totally forgot I curated a baby playlist but she also had one on hand and was my personal DJ. Maybe my playlist was curated for another baby in the future lol?
LABOR 😩: I didn’t really start active labor until I was given the Pitocin. By the time I was given the Pitocin I was 5cm dilated. I can’t really pinpoint when active labor hit but when it DID! I was in a whole other world.. I managed my labor pain by using the yoga ball primarily, closing my eyes, trying to focus on my breath to remain calm, and holding on to my boyfriend or doulas hand. Outside of that I used the cloth method, where I had a yoga mat and I was on all 4s and they but the cloth around my tummy and helped provide counter pressure and moved it back and forth. There was also this sweet moment my doula captured where my partner and I were slow dancing, which helped ease labor pains as well.
Having both my boyfriend and doula was perfect! I definitely recommend having at least 2 people in the room to support the laborer. If my doula needed a break my boyfriend would be able to tap in and vice versa. This always makes me laugh because my boyfriend wanted it to be just me and him originally in the delivery room. However, I was always interested in having a doula even before I was pregnant. So I am so glad I was able to gift myself one even though he wasn’t fully on board. Even now he reminisces on how grateful he was for her considering he didn’t get the best night of sleep the night before and my labor was several hours. It would have been very difficult to have helped me manage labor pains all by himself.
During the early parts of my labor one of the nurses denied me WATER! 😱 I knew I wouldn’t be able to eat based on the training I took, but from water was always fine. Luckily I wasn’t super thirsty at the time and it was upon the request by my doula on my behalf to get some water. My doula let the nurse know that water was okay during the labor and they brought me some. I don’t know why the nurse didn’t want to get me water. This experience further proved to me the benefit of having support there to help advocate on your behalf if need be - I know other women, specifically black Women, have been denied more dire things during their labor and it’s unimaginable.
Lying in the bed was indescribably unpleasant. There came one point during the evening where I had to lay in the bed to get my baby in a better birthing position. The nurse did various maneuvers to turn my son the way he needed to be. They adjusted the bed so I was laying almost slanted and they put various pressure on my tummy. I tried laying in bed to see if now it would be more comfortable but it wasn’t. So once they were done I “ran” back to my safe place AKA the yoga ball.
Something I recall strongly that helped calm me was stating something along the lines of the “Lord is my strength” and that did wonders believe it or not!
I knew I was on the home stretch when the nurse alerted me that I was 8cm and made it past the mark of being able to receive an epidural. I really wanted to do it all natural so this was a HUGE win for me at the moment.
** TMI but I threw up into a throw up back sometime during my laboring as well**
DELIVERY - PT 1 👶🏾: My OB Practice was one with a bunch of practitioners so I saw someone different almost every time in the beginning on my pregnancy journey. I started to see the same 1-3 towards the end though. When i got to the hospital I was bummed because the practitioner that was there when I arrived for my induction was someone I coincidentally never met before. BUT GOD, had a surprise for me! It came time for that practitioner to end her shift and the OB I originally went to the practice for delivered my baby (she was a black woman)!!
I couldn’t be more happy to know she was the new person on call. It was a miracle!
I was ready to push before the doctors were ready for me. I don’t recall what the nurses at the time were checking but I was under the impression they wanted me to push, so I started to but they instructed me to stop 😂 I was in a very comfortable position to do so! I was hugging the back of the gurney.
I may have felt the urge to push because I was at 10cm dilated and having contractions consistently, but I was SOO ready.
I remember having the urge to 💩but my doula was like you can go as long as you don’t give birth In the toilet. So I opted out because I had NO idea what was going on down there lol.
My OB made her way back in the room and it was time to push. But before I did I had to wake up my boyfriend who was knocked out at the time. I urgently and firmly said something like “wake up it’s about to happen” because I was exhausted of trying to fight the urge to push on the instructions of my doctor.
DELIVERY PT 2 - PUSHING 💪🏾: When it came time to push my boyfriend was on my left side and my doula I think was on the same side but a little further back taking pictures. My doctor instructed me to take a deep breath in and then try to push.. but I did it wrong!! Then she told me to take a deep breath in and do a firm exhale out and it worked!! This was not how I thought pushing was going to feel like lol. After the first attempted push my doctor told me stop. I loved how encouraging my doctor was during my pushes even though while I was pushing my hearing was limited. I couldn’t hear very well, all sound was muffled when I tried to push.
I initiated the second push after informing my doctor I was having a contraction. She then gave me the go ahead to push for the second time. The second pushed seemed to last forever but in reality it was probably like 30 seconds. I couldn’t see what was going on but everyone around me seemed to be telling me I was doing really well and to keep going. I did and then my son was FINALLY born at 10:55am at a whooping 8Lbs 7oz to the sound of my boyfriend exclaiming “Oh my gosh!”
**CUE THE UGLY TEARS**
LEAVING THE HOSPITAL🧑🧑🧒: I was filled with a sense of overwhelmingness i never felt before when we were preparing to leave for the hospital. My mom bought us a congratulations it’s a boy ballon, we had the carseat, and everything else I bought as my new family made our trek back to the car.
Someone saw all of this making their way towards the hospital and wish us well and congratulations!! However I was crying and mustered a smile and said thank you. I was trailing behind my boyfriend so he didn’t know I was crying until they said something lol.
When I reflect on it now, I think in that brief moment walking for the sky bridge to the parking garage I was grieving the stage of life I was leaving behind forever and the weight of the responsibility ahead of me.
✨EXTRA INFORMATION: It was a busy delivery day I recall as the room close to me just delivered and my doctor that was on call had to leave rather quickly to go tend to someone else once my son was delivered. He definitely almost pooped inside me, as he pooped on me a few moments before being out on my chest - so glad we avoided that! Unfortunately I 💩 on the delivery table too.
Shoutout to my doula for taking all of pictures, which I will look over continuously today and for the video which I will forever watch, for capturing the moment I couldn’t really see for myself. Delivery wasn’t painful but labor was. My delivery was just filled with a lot physical pressure as my body toiled to push out human being for the first time. They estimated my son was going to be about 6lbs so he was bigger than I was expecting haha. I love having these moments to see my life changing forever in a third eye POV.
His due date was July 13th.
These 3 years have been a RIDE, and I can’t wait to see where the rest of the adventure will take us. Happy 3rd Birthday baby boy!🥺❤️🦕
#lemon8challenge #mybirthstory #blackmaternity #birthexperience #birthday #induction #motherhood #momlife #momsoflemon8 #birthmemory
Okay mamas, let's talk about those intense final moments before you actually get to push! Reaching 9.5cm dilated felt like standing on the edge of a cliff – you know the biggest leap is coming, and there’s no turning back. My doula texted that I was 9.5cm dilated and would be ready to push in about 30 minutes, and honestly, that timeframe felt like both an eternity and a blink of an eye. When you're that close, your body is doing some serious work. For me, the contractions felt different. They weren't just painful anymore; there was an undeniable downward pressure, a primal urge to bear down that was hard to ignore. It's like your body is screaming, "It's time!" even if your doctor or nurse is telling you to wait. This stage is often called the "transition phase," and it's famous for being the hardest part of labor for many. Emotions can run high – you might feel overwhelmed, exhausted, or even doubt yourself. I remember feeling so incredibly ready for it to be *over*, but also a surge of excitement knowing I was moments away from meeting my son. What helped me during this incredibly intense period? My doula was a rockstar. She kept me focused on breathing and reminded me that every contraction was bringing my baby closer. Even though I had practiced different techniques, in the moment, it was about finding whatever felt right. For me, that meant getting back on the yoga ball for counter pressure and just holding onto my partner's hand for dear life. If you're wondering what to do when you're 9.5cm dilated and waiting, here are a few things I found helpful: Trust Your Body, But Listen to Your Care Team: The urge to push can be incredibly strong, but sometimes waiting for that extra half-centimeter, or for your doctor's green light, can prevent unnecessary tearing. Try to breathe through the urges if you're asked to wait. Change Positions: Even if you're exhausted, try different positions. Squatting, leaning, or being on all fours can really help gravity do its work and align the baby for pushing. My doula helped me with the cloth method, which was amazing for counter pressure. Hydrate (if allowed!) and Rest: Even though I was denied water at one point by a nurse (thank goodness for my doula advocating!), if you can, sip water or juice between contractions. And try to rest as much as possible in between those waves. Lean on Your Support System: This is where your partner, doula, or labor coach truly shines. Their encouragement, physical support, and reminders to breathe are invaluable. My partner was amazing, even when he almost dozed off (haha!). Having someone to hold your hand, make eye contact, or just remind you of your strength is everything. Mental Focus: I found comfort in repeating affirmations like "The Lord is my strength." Find what grounds you – whether it's a mantra, visualizing your baby, or focusing on your breathing. The moment my OB walked in and said it was finally time to push, a wave of relief washed over me, mixed with a fresh burst of adrenaline. That transition from 9.5cm to fully dilated and actively pushing is truly a mental and physical marathon, but it's also the gateway to meeting your little one. You've got this, mama!
