is it normal to set this kind of boundary?

My friend calls me on FaceTime past 10pm almost every night—sometimes even 11:30. I used to answer every time, even half-asleep, but lately I just don’t have the energy. Now I let it ring and feel guilty.

She’s been acting weird in group chat and even posted something about people “changing when they get new friends.” I’m not mad at her, I just can’t do late-night calls all the time.

Am I being a bad friend, or is it normal to set this kind of boundary?

#AskLemon8 #LetsChat #FriendshipTalk

2025/8/15 Edited to

... Read moreSetting personal boundaries, especially regarding communication times like late-night calls, is a healthy and necessary practice that supports mental and emotional well-being. It is normal to feel exhausted or unwilling to answer calls past a certain hour, as everyone has different energy levels and daily responsibilities. Psychologists emphasize that boundaries help protect your time, space, and emotional capacity. Friends may sometimes react differently or feel hurt initially, but clear and honest communication about why you cannot answer calls late at night can help them understand your perspective without feeling rejected. In situations where a friend acts "weird" or posts about changes in friendship, it may indicate underlying feelings of insecurity or adjustment to the new boundaries. It is essential to approach these conversations with empathy, reassuring your friend that your limits are about self-care and not about distancing emotionally. Late-night calls can disrupt sleep patterns, increase stress levels, and interfere with personal routines. Setting a boundary such as not answering calls past 10 pm is a reasonable personal choice. Alternatives include scheduling calls at mutually convenient times or texting instead, which allows flexibility and respects both parties' needs. Recognizing that friendships evolve is also crucial. As people grow, their boundaries and communication styles may change. Healthy friendships adapt through honest conversations and respect for each other’s limits. In summary, it is entirely normal and healthy to set boundaries like not answering late-night FaceTime calls. Prioritizing your well-being and energy fosters balanced relationships and reduces guilt. Effective communication and empathy from both friends build strong friendships that respect individual needs.

16 comments

Habibi🇲🇦 ⵣ's images
Habibi🇲🇦 ⵣ

Then communicate that with her, if there’s no communication misunderstandings happen. Your reason is completely valid and so is hers (unless she’s been communicated with)

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roseredrum's images
roseredrum

This is a normal boundary. Your friends should respect your rest time, and if they don’t, drop them.

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