i broke up with my friend & i don’t regret.
I think I’ve reached that stage of my life where I don’t want to spend more time on a friendship that I know won’t go the distance.
I went on a trip to Desaru with 3 of us and things were good when we started off. I just told him “bro dym if I drive there, I just don’t feel comfortable with u driving”. This was from prev exp of him cutting 3 lanes in 2 seconds across the highway to make an exit 😀 I didn’t want to deal with that again and he agreed (thank GOD) The trip was p chill and we saw lotsa cool stuff like there’s a Fruit Farm that had a petting zoo???
After some stops, I started realising a pattern 🤔 He’d tell me bro I’m gonna take something from the car at almost every stop while i chilled with my other friend. We came out of a cafe one time to see him get into the car, drive out of the lot, come closer towards us, see that there’s no lot, park back in the same lot and then come back with nothing 💀 i just felt like I was dealing with a kid atp.
Because I said i didnt like him driving, he just had to make a point of touching the car that is rented under my name ALONG W THE INSURANCE 😣 硬硬要做啰
Anyway the next day began and I saw he was getting really fidgety in the car. My other friend told me “bro i think just let him drive awhile ba, he like q sad”. I remember thinking “wtf i need to placate my friend, 2 years older btw, by letting him drive the car and putting my life in his hands”. But how bad could it be right 🤣
I passed him the keys for 1 journey. Just 20 minutes. What could happen.
#1 he could barely stop at the red light. He verbalised “wah this red light damn long, i feel like going already” 💀 aft knowing that we don’t feel safe in the car
#2 he literally almost ran a red light until i hit him. Then he justified saying “oh but i saw the other car go eh” wtfuckkkk u blind ah cb 😭
#3 the carplay map hanged at some point and he started panicking over not being able to do anything while driving and he didn’t touch the screen 🫠 i just told him to drive and i’ll guide him
we finally reached after 20 gruelling minutes in the metal death trap! I told him to pass me the keys and he agreed 💀 never did he apologise after the fact until i pointed it out and it’s been the same for other incidents in the past 3 years. I decided to distance myself from him after coming back cos i could never associate with someone who doesn’t care about his friends’ lives (not even his own) and take accountability when things fuck up. I told him these thoughts and that I can’t be there to help this guy grow up (2 years older btw 💀💀💀)
It sounds harsh to some but I’m being intentional with who and how I spend my time this year. A lot of angst in today’s reflection but rant out 😀
Breaking up with a friend, especially someone you've known for years, isn't easy—it requires a lot of emotional strength and clarity about your values. In my case, the tipping point was not just dangerous driving but also the lack of respect for my safety and feelings. I realized that holding onto such a friendship was draining my energy and peace of mind. If you're struggling with whether to let go of a friendship, consider how much trust and mutual respect exist. Are you constantly anxious or walking on eggshells? For me, repeatedly facing risky behavior and no apologies made it clear that this relationship was one-sided. It helped me to be intentional about who I surround myself with, prioritizing people who respect boundaries and contribute positively to my life. Ending this friendship, while difficult, opened space for healthier connections and more self-respect. Also, looking back, I understood that sometimes older friends can still act immaturely, and age alone doesn’t guarantee growth. It’s okay to step back from relationships that hinder your well-being. This process of re-evaluating friendships is part of adulting and personal growth.
Sometimes an overseas holiday can help u filter out the people in our lives. Partners included. Glad you dodged a bullet.