Don't you think it's good? The NG confirmation habit of parents who pluck their children's "motivation buds"
When a child says, "I want to do this!" or "I want to try it!."
Half of your happiness, aren't you just reminding yourself with these words?
Do you really want to do it?
Can you continue properly?
Don t stop on the way!
As a parent, it is "confirmation" because I want you to do your best without getting bored.
But in fact, this innocent word may have reached the heart of the child as a heavy [threat (pressure)]....!
As shown in the illustration, this confirmation habit is not limited to learning, but also quietly wears down the child's "I want to try it!" in everyday life.
⚠️ Sad loop caused by innocent "confirmation"
For example, when a child says "I want to stop dancing," do you pull out the confirmation of the past and blame it like this?
You said you wanted to do it yourself, right?
Why are you so bored?
"It costs a lot of money 💧"
If you keep being told this, the child will learn that "Even if you start something new, you may be scolded again" or "If you want to quit, you will be blamed."
As a result, the next time you are asked "Do you want to do something?," There is a possibility that you will be frightened and close your mouth "I do not know... 😭" It is the moment when the bud of motivation has been completely plucked.
💡 Be careful of such everyday calls!
This is not only a big event such as a lesson, but the same thing is happening in a small scene every day.
🟠 Child "(Don't ride a stroller!) Walk by yourself 😆"
"Can you walk to the end without saying 🙁?"
🟠 kid: I want to make 🤩.
Parent: "It's okay to make it, but if you clean it up properly, 😐?"
When "conditions" and "responsibilities" are initially attached, the pure excitement of "I want to try!" of a child will change to "obligation that must be done" in an instant.
🌱 First of all, accept the feeling you want to do now as it is
Children are in the middle of looking for their "likes and strengths" while experiencing it. It is also a wonderful growth process to try and realize that it is different.
Instead of making you promise to continue before you start, why don't you support your current motivation by saying "Like! Let's do it!"?
A little "confirmation habit" in everyday life, maybe I'm saying it... If you have a tickle in your heart, please check it out by liking or saving it. We also welcome your sympathy and opinions in the comments 🌱
# Parenting tips# child There is parenting # Learning # parenting
私も子育て中に「本当にやるの？」と念押ししてしまい、子どもが少し委縮してしまった経験があります。最初は親としての不安から、つい続けることや責任を強調してしまいがちですが、この確認の積み重ねが子どもの心に重くのしかかると気づいてからは、言葉を選ぶようにしています。 特に習い事の始めるときや辞めたいと言われたときは、過去の確認を持ち出さず、「今の気持ちを尊重する」ことを大切にしています。子どもは好きなことを試しながら自分の «好き» や «得意» を見つけている途中なので、「やめたい」時も成長の一歩として受け止めることが肝心です。 日常のちょっとした場面でも、「最後までできる？」「ちゃんと片付ける？」など条件を最初に付けると、やってみたい純粋な気持ちが「義務」になってしまいます。ですので、「いいね！やってみよう！」ととにかく応援し、後から自然に習慣や責任感を育てていく接し方に変えてみまし た。 親としては、子どものやる気をちゃんと応援したいという気持ちは誰でも持っています。しかし「本当にやりたいの？」「続けられる？」といった確認が時には逆効果になることを知ることで、親子関係がよりよくなり子どもの自己肯定感を育てることができると感じています。 この記事の内容を読んで、自分の声掛けを振り返るきっかけになりました。皆さんもぜひ、子どものやる気の芽を大切に育てていくヒントとして活用してみてください。