Isn't it "OK yesterday, not today"? The "blurring" of the way of involvement that makes the child's mind unstable and how to maintain consistency

"Yesterday I said 'OK', but today I got irritated and said 'No!'..."

"My attitude to my child changes depending on my mood and mind of the day..."

When you are chased by daily childcare, work, and housework, there are times when you can't afford to be in your mind and your response will be blurred. There are many parents who reflect on themselves later, saying, "What an unreasonable way of getting angry," and become depressed.

However, for children, whether or not there is "consistency" in the response of parents who are the most familiar adults has a great influence on the growth of the mind.

This time, we will talk about the risks that arise from disengagement and tips for maintaining consistency.

⚡ response changes, what happens to children?

It is said that if the "rules" and "attitudes" are not consistent depending on the circumstances and moods of parents, children are likely to have the following risks.

🔵 anxiety increases and emotional instability

🔵 don t know how to act and have low self-esteem.

🔵 Risk of depression and instability in interpersonal relationships

🔵 "trial behavior" to check the limits of parents increases

🔵 more aggressive behavior and less autonomy and self-control

🔵 communication skills are difficult to develop

When a child is confused, saying, "I didn't get scolded yesterday, but why not today?," he or she begins to look at his or her parents, and the growth of a relaxed mind may be hindered.

🧘‍♀️ consistency, first of all, from "work yourself"

You might think, "So, do I have to be perfectly consistent all the time?" But that's not the case.I'm not a robot, so it's impossible to be perfect all the time.

The important thing is to look at the root cause of the blur. Here are two approaches to staying consistent.

① Parents' own "self-care"

If your parents are too stressed and tired, it can be difficult to have a consistent relationship. First, find your own ways to maintain your physical and mental health, such as calling friends, listening to your favorite music, watching movies, making time for hobbies, and asking your partner to help you secure time for yourself!

② Unity of rules and values between couples

Differences in what parents say can also cause confusion for children. It is important to share basic rules and child-rearing policies in advance, such as how to spend time during meals (watching TV or smartphones), timing of homework, time to sleep, etc.

If you have no choice but to say that it is not good because of "parents' convenience," instead of being emotionally angry, "Mom is very tired today..." Just talking in words properly "why it is not good," the way the child receives it will change completely.

👋 don't have to be perfect. Let's start with Mom and Dad's smile 😆

The most important thing to be consistent is not strict discipline, but the parent's own mind.

When the response is blurred, please realize that "Oh, it's a sign that I'm losing my mind now" and pamper yourself a lot.

If you are worried that your partner and child-rearing policy do not match or that you can not control your irritation, never hold it alone and feel free to rely on the power of a professional such as your pediatrician, local public health nurse, or professional counselor.

With the help of the surrounding support, first of all, to yourself who is working hard every day "Thank you for your hard work."

Take a little time to relax and breathe.

I am always on the side of those who are worried about parenting!

Children's troubles # parenting # period There is childcare Mama's Child