big sister advice from an only child (part 38!) 💘
Okay, so let's dive deeper into this 'big sister' dating advice, because honestly, some things just need to be said more than once, and with a bit more context! You know that feeling when you're navigating the dating world and just wish you had an older sister to spill all the tea with? That's exactly the vibe we're going for here. First up, let's talk about standards. I used to worry so much about being 'too picky' or asking for 'too much.' But trust me when I say, having high standards is not about being unrealistic; it's about respecting yourself. If a man leaves because you clearly communicate your boundaries and expectations, he's not the man for you. Period. You will never lose the man that's truly meant for you by simply knowing your worth. Any man who bails because you have standards is doing you the biggest favor by showing his true colors early on. You deserve someone who rises to meet you, not someone who tries to drag you down to their level. Next, the whole strong woman and weak man dynamic. This one is a game-changer. I've been there, thinking I could 'fix' or 'inspire' someone to be better. But here's the truth: when a strong, intelligent woman puts any kind of pressure on a man who isn't ready to step up, he will often run to someone who demands less. He'll seek out a situation where his immaturities aren't challenged. And when he does this, instead of feeling hurt, send him a metaphorical thank you note! He just freed up your time and energy for a partner who is actually ready for a mature, equitable relationship. Don't waste your strength trying to prop up someone who won't meet you halfway. Then there's loyalty. Oh, how crucial this is! If someone can't be loyal to you when things are relatively easy – whether you're in your 20s, 30s, or whenever you feel like the hottest version of yourself – how on earth do you expect them to be loyal during the inevitable hard seasons of life? Life throws curveballs: job losses, family emergencies, health scares. You need a partner who will be your rock, someone you can implicitly trust to carry you through the toughest times, not someone who adds more stress with infidelity or unreliability. Pick a partner who demonstrates unwavering loyalty, not just when it's convenient. And let's be super clear on this: your purpose in life is not to audition to be someone's girlfriend or wife. My goodness, I spent too many years twisting myself into knots trying to be what I thought a guy wanted. You are not meant to constantly try to convince someone that you are worthy enough. You are worthy! Focus on your own growth, your passions, your career, your friendships. Build a life that makes you happy. The right person will be attracted to the authentic, confident you, not the version you're trying to perform. Stop seeking external validation and start living for yourself. Finally, if you are constantly filled with confusion and anxiety about where he is, what he's doing, or who he's with, please, please listen to that gut feeling. That lump in your throat, that constant checking of their location – that is not what a healthy relationship feels like. The person who is meant for you will bring you peace, clarity, and security. You'll forget what confusion and stress and anxiety feel like because they'll create a safe space for you. Don't settle for anything less than that profound sense of calm and certainty. You deserve a love that feels like home, not a constant source of worry.




























































































