4 Psychological reasons why "kind people" are often repeatedly exploited.

In our society, the word "kind person" is often seen as a lovely, embracing feature and always ready to offer kindness to help mop up tears or spoil those around us. The kind person is always willing to move the blanket of thoughtfulness away so that everyone in the life diary is happy and comfortable.

But you know what?..In the real world, many kind people come back to regret their nodes and energy tubes in their hearts, simply by discovering, "Why is it that the better we are to him, the less considerate he is to us?" or sometimes being broken down.

That kind people are often the target of exploitation does not mean that kindness is wrong, but it is driven by certain behaviors that we accidentally miss.

Through four reasons here.

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1. Have a fuzzy or unclear scope of life.

The distinguishing feature of most kind people is that they have very loose life boundaries. They do not dare to walk away from uncomfortable situations and often do not reject others because they are afraid that if they refuse, others will not love or disappoint others. As soon as we allow Yuan to let others cross the line to organize our life schedule often, society will start to learn that "this person is tolerable" and will become used to taking advantage of us later in the day.

2. Bear a responsibility that is "not ours."

Kind people tend to have too much compassion to carry other people's suffering. They feel that if people are in trouble, work duties are delayed, or their girlfriend is not happy because they are not helping well enough. Deep down, it makes us accidentally solve problems for others to forget that every human being must be responsible for the outcome of their lives.

3. Driven by fear of conflict

For kind people, a calm, tense atmosphere or a straight confrontation in a serious angle is the most destructive thing in their life tube, so they choose to use the word "it's okay" to sit down stupid, carry their awkwardness alone, rather than having to rise up and argue to save their rights. This kind of behavior excerpts self-confidence that allows others to take advantage of in exchange for temporary calm.

4. Inadvertently signaled that "our value depends on the acceptance of others."

When we live our lives by putting a happy ruler on the smiles of those around us, waiting for a spoil, doing good to attract 1% of our praise a day. In the long run, it will steal all our confidence and self-worth. Because people with exploitative behavior can see this sign sharply and use it to pressure us to indulge them all the time.

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⚠️ how to refocus life. Be a kind person with "boundaries" and maturity.

Being good and socially responsible is a beautiful thing, but on a day when our energy is limited, we always have to learn how to be kind to ourselves before others. Let's reorganize our thinking system with these three rules.

1. Denial does not mean that we are mean.

To be honest, courteous, "I'm not really comfortable doing this," is to respect my time and boundaries, not to feel guilty.

2. Return the problem to the owner.

Let others face the storm of their lives, let them grow their lives so that we don't have to run to spread our umbrellas every time we get wet in the rain.

3. Set a 1% per day retainer card

Practice to tell the truth on awkward matters. Better let relationships crack deep like a glass vase waiting for the day to break.

Your kindness is a precious jewel...Keep it to those who see value and respect each other's boundaries.

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# Understand people # Psychology # Know people