5 friends I no longer keep as a recovering people pleaser
No one likes to admit they people pleaser (which is why we claim we're just "too nice")...
but if you want to be an unfckwithable confident btch you need to be able to call yourself out because
1. You can't shift what you don't acknowledge and
2. If you own your 💩 you won't get so triggered if someone calls it out...because they're not telling you anything you don't already know and own about yourself. We get triggered when someone says something that deep down we already question ourselves
But that's another topic for another day.
If you truly want to be confident and feel hotter, healthier, happier....those women own their worth. They don't abandon themselves for others.
As someone who is a recovering people pleaser and 100% of my clients have come in as people pleasers but left as boundary queens, here are the patterns I see most👇
1️⃣you tend to drop everything to help friends who tend to always need help but are surprisingly busy when you need it but you keep giving
2️⃣make excuses for the other person when you're hurt like "maybe I'm just being sensitive or overdramatic or overthinking"
3️⃣you let late payments slide from clients for one week, then two, then a month...and yet you're still doing work for them
4️⃣you feel guilty if you don't reply to a message right away and swear you'll have working hours to relax and spent time with your family but you're often responding to emails at 9pm calling it hustle
5️⃣you tend to overgive at the expense of your own wellbeing
6️⃣you say you want open communication with your friends and partner but when they hurt your feelings last night and got pissed you said nothing
7️⃣you say you know you deserve better and swear next time you'll say no, you'll set the boundary....but that time comes and you can't seem to get the words out
I get it because I did it all. And it wasn't because I was too nice.
It was because I wanted to be accepted. I didn't want to be abandoned or rejected. I didn't want to rock the boat. I had low self worth and lower confidence.
But you get to decide at any point...fck it, I'm done settling! 🔥
And that's when you slide into my dms and we break you free😉
Healing from people-pleasing behaviors is a transformative journey that not only reshapes how you treat yourself but also alters the relationships you maintain. From my own experience and helping clients transition from chronic people pleasers to empowered boundary setters, I've noticed that certain friendships can hold you back more than support your growth. One key revelation is understanding that not all supportive-seeming friends truly uplift you. For instance, the "one-sided" friends often take more than they give, always leaning on your generosity while scarce when you need support. Recognizing such patterns early helps preserve your energy and integrity. Another category is the "secretly jealous" friends. Their backhanded compliments and subtle criticisms can drain your emotional reserves and undermine your confidence. In my own life, distancing myself from these dynamics created space for relationships that genuinely celebrated my wins and encouraged my ambitions. Then there are the "low vibers," who seem to prefer venting or complaining over seeking solutions. Their energy can feel like quicksand, pulling you into negativity. I learned that surrounding myself with more solution-oriented and optimistic individuals improved my overall mindset. The "lazy ones" and "complacent ones" also deserve mention—friends who don't actively nurture the relationship or who try to keep you stagnant because they fear change. When you start setting clear boundaries, it’s common to find these connections fading, but it’s important to recognize that it often means those relationships no longer serve your growth. By letting go of these five types of friends, you’re not just ending connections—you’re reclaiming your time, your peace, and your self-respect. Boundaries are not about building walls but about protecting your worth and cultivating a tribe that raises you higher. Remember, this process is deeply personal and sometimes uncomfortable but ultimately liberating. Keep embracing your journey from recovering people pleaser to a boundary queen and watch your life transform in amazing ways.