i used to write paragraphs trying to make you understand me. trying to get you to see how much i cared. but no matter how many ways i said it, it never felt like you were really listening. and after a while, explaining myself started to feel like begging. so i stopped. not because the feelings disappeared overnight. but because loving someone who constantly makes you feel invisible hurts worse than walking away. so now, even if i still think of you, i think of myself more. and that’s growth.
It's a familiar ache, isn't it? That sinking feeling when you pour your heart out, only for it to feel like none of it mattered. I know exactly how it is to be the one who always cared more, the one constantly trying to make someone understand you, only to be met with silence or indifference. For so long, I found myself in friendships where I was always explaining my worth, trying to justify my feelings, and begging for a connection that just wasn't there. It felt like I was speaking into an empty room, and that constant effort to be seen and heard can be utterly draining. There comes a point when you realize that constantly chasing affirmation from people who make you feel invisible does more damage than good. I remember countless nights replaying conversations, wondering what I could have said differently, or why I wasn't enough. It was a painful cycle of self-doubt and striving. The OCR reminded me of those days: "made me feel like none of it mattered." That phrase hit home because it encapsulated the core pain of those experiences. You desperately want to find peace, but how can you when you feel so unheard? Learning to prioritize yourself isn't selfish; it's essential for your well-being. I had to stop contacting people who consistently devalued my efforts. It wasn't because I didn't have more to say, but because I was tired of feeling like my words, my feelings, and my very presence were insignificant. It's truly heartbreaking when you're always the one who cared more, investing so much emotional energy into relationships that don't reciprocate. This journey taught me that you shouldn't have to keep explaining your worth to anyone. Your value isn't up for negotiation or approval. Now, when I look back, I see the growth. It's a tough path to walk away, especially when you still care deeply, but staying in a situation where you're constantly diminishing yourself is far more damaging. It's about recognizing the "voices" – both external and internal – that tell you you're not enough, and choosing to silence them. This process often involves setting firm boundaries, even if it means letting go of someone you once cherished. It's about understanding that your peace and mental health are paramount. If someone truly values you, they won't make you feel like you're begging for their attention or understanding. True friends lift you up, they don't make you feel like an afterthought. Embracing this perspective has truly allowed me to find my own sense of peace, knowing I'm done explaining my worth to anyone.










































































































Amen 🙏