Let’s be honest… this photo is technically a selfie of my wife out on a run, looking absolutely beautiful, glowing, and pretending she’s just capturing a wholesome moment in nature.

But we all know the truth.

This wasn’t a selfie.

This was an undercover reconnaissance mission.

Because if you zoom out just a little, what do you spot way down the path?

That’s right — me, strutting along with my newly-acquired, dramatically downsized, professionally-sculpted-by-fasting, skinny sexy ass on full display after dropping a ridiculous amount of weight.

And my wife?

Oh, she played it cool.

Acted like she was just taking a picture of her smile, her run, the trees…

Meanwhile she was 100% lining up the angle like David Attenborough trying to film a rare species migrating through the wild.

Honestly, look how happy she is.

That’s not “I love running” happy.

That’s “my husband’s transformation has turned this woodland walk into a National Geographic thigh-and-butt documentary” happy.

I can’t blame her.

If I had shed this much weight and my backside suddenly went from ‘tow truck reversing alarm’ to ‘athletic peach emoji’, I’d probably take sneaky photos too.

So here’s to my wife — beautiful, smiling, radiant…

And absolutely pretending this isn’t a glamour shot of my new backside in its natural habitat.

Love you, darling.

Next time just admit it and take the picture properly — I’ll even hold a pose. 💁‍♂️🍑😂