Surgery Diary – Day 7 Part 4: Scotland Bound Prep 🇹🇷✈️🏴
Right team, gather round the recovery bed. The Turkish chapter is coming to an end and Operation: “Get Michael Back to Scotland Without Setting Off Metal Detectors” is officially underway.
It’s 9pm here in Istanbul, which means it’s only 6pm back in the UK. My brain is currently running on three time zones, two painkillers and what I can only describe as optimistic confidence.
Tomorrow is travel day.
Alarm set for 4:30am.
Airport transfer at 5am.
Flight at 9:30am local time.
And thanks to the dark arts of international aviation, I somehow land in Edinburgh at 10:30am. So I’ll be airborne for hours, cross continents, eat a questionable omelette at 35,000 feet, and still arrive roughly five minutes after I leave.
I’m not saying I’ve cracked time travel… but I’m not not saying it either.
Packing has been a military operation:
Compression corset – packed ✔
Medication stash – packed ✔
Medical paperwork – packed ✔
Dignity – abandoned somewhere around Day 1 ✔
I now own more pills, creams, sprays and bandages than Boots the Chemist and more dressings than a mummy in a low-budget horror film.
Walking status update:
Speed: glacial.
Posture: elderly meerkat.
Agility: drunk giraffe on roller skates.
Swagger: absolutely zero.
I’ll be shuffling through Istanbul Airport tomorrow like a man who’s been hugged aggressively by a very angry octopus.
But genuinely, Istanbul has been amazing. The hospital, the staff, the care, the hotel, even the fruit plates have been first class. I came here built like a retired bouncer with a dad bod, and I’m leaving looking like an IKEA flat-pack version of myself.
Slightly battered.
Heavily stapled.
Considerably lighter.
Emotionally ready for a proper cup of Scottish tea.
Now I just need to survive:
• airport security
• sitting upright
• turbulence
• my own dramatic sighs
And then I’ll be home.
Scotland, get the kettle on.Your slightly refurbished son is coming back.
Next update soon… assuming I don’t get mistaken for oversized hand luggage.
