💝Still, I Found God 💝

34 years, 8 months, and 4 days old,

And every day, I’ve searched for God.

Not in golden temples or pages told,

But in the moments when my soul felt odd.

They labeled me “sinner” with eyes that pierced,

Said, “Why pray? Hell waits either way.”

But they never saw the nights I wept,

Or how hard I fought just to stay.

Sexual abuse stole my innocence,

Left me shattered, lost, and small.

Abandonment echoed like thunder inside—

I reached out, but no one answered the call.

Depression crawled into my bones,

Told me I was better unseen.

Self-esteem hung by a whisper,

A girl once whole, now caught in between.

Love broke me more times than I can count—

Left pieces of me in hands that weren’t safe.

I gave and I gave, until I was empty,

Wore a smile, but inside, I’d cave.

And then—I found God in the loss of my son,

In a grief so deep it stole my breath.

In the ache that never leaves,

In the silence that followed death.

He held me in the spaces no one could reach,

In the tears that soaked my skin.

When life made no sense and faith was a whisper,

He gently pulled me in.

I found God in the therapist’s chair,

In the mirror, when I dared to look.

In the sunrise after sleepless nights,

In every healing word I took.

He wasn’t far, not watching me fall,

He was with me—in every fall I took.

In the breaking, the crushing, the aching pain—

He wrote my name in His holy book.

They said I was too broken to be loved,

But God used every crack I tried to hide.

I didn’t need to be perfect to be chosen—

He was there. Right there. Inside.

So no, I won’t wear shame like a cloak.

I won’t shrink just to make them feel tall.

Because grace met me in the rubble—

And showed me I was worthy after all.📝

#lemon8lifecoach #gracefullybroken #she is a women of god #poetry #christianlemon8