Closure is a scam..

That quote, 'closure is a scam,' truly resonated with me, and I know I'm not alone in feeling that way. For so long, I believed that to truly heal from a difficult experience – a breakup, a loss, a betrayal – I needed to understand every single detail, every 'why.' I thought I needed a final conversation, an apology, or a perfect explanation to put everything neatly into a box and move on. But honestly, that pursuit often left me feeling more frustrated and stuck than before. It felt like chasing a mirage. I realized that this conventional idea of 'closure' often sets us up for disappointment. It implies that healing is a destination, a moment when all questions are answered, and all pain vanishes. But life isn't always like that. Sometimes, the 'why' never comes. Sometimes, the other person isn't willing or able to provide it. And sometimes, even if you get an answer, it doesn't magically erase the hurt. That's when the idea of closure feeling like a 'scam' really clicked for me. It's not that we don't deserve peace, but perhaps we've been looking for it in the wrong places or expecting it in a way that isn't always realistic. So, if closure isn't a guaranteed endpoint, what do we do? For me, the shift has been from seeking external validation or answers to cultivating internal peace. It's about accepting that some things will remain unknown, and that's okay. It's about recognizing that healing is a process, not a single event. I've found immense comfort in validating my own feelings instead of waiting for someone else to acknowledge them. Journaling has been a huge help – just getting all those swirling thoughts and emotions out onto paper, without judgment, has been incredibly cathartic. Another thing I've learned is the power of focusing on what I can control. I can't control someone else's actions or their willingness to provide explanations, but I can control how I choose to respond and care for myself. This might mean setting boundaries, seeking support from friends or a therapist, or engaging in activities that bring me joy and a sense of purpose. It's about building a new life for myself, one step at a time, that isn't dependent on getting that elusive 'closure.' It's a journey of redefining what 'moving on' means. For me, it's not about forgetting or pretending the pain never happened. It's about integrating the experience into my story, learning from it, and choosing to carry forward with compassion for myself. It's about finding my own peace, even in the messy, unanswered parts of life. If you, like me, have ever felt trapped by the search for closure, remember that you're not alone, and there are other paths to healing and finding that much-needed peace.