Life when you're alone in it
This is essentially a part 2 to my previous post.
I celebrated my birthday last month. My job was really weird about it, but I didn't let it ruin my day. I had fun....until I caught the worst cold of my whole existence. I think I'm finally over it. It lasted weeks.
What sucks is that I was so distracted from being sick that I couldn't feel depressed. It's a battle everyday having MDD, but It's one that I've chosen to face. I've started going to the gym. I noticed that I have a love/hate relationship with running. I hate it but it helps get things off my mind. I've also gotten back into watching k-dramas, just to keep myself distracted.
I've given up completely on finding friends, or looking for a romantic partner. I was on the apps for a bit, but no one would ever reach out to me, and I would reach out to people, only to never get a response back. Maybe i'm just too "weird," for people. I've been discovering a lot about my sexuality for someone who's in their late 20s. I'm bi-sexual, and the idea of men lately has been throwing me off, not gonna lie. I developed strong feelings for a girl, but chose not to say anything. She's successful, and with me not feeling like I am at her level, I chose to hold back. Maybe it's cause i'm not experiencing it right now, but I just feel like modern romance is dead...or maybe I'm just not meant to have those things in life.
So now... i'm just trying to accept that "this," is my life. I've always been alone, and I'll always be alone. Maybe things are better that way. I can't get hurt from others if I'm always alone, right? I guess now i'm just trying to learn how to be happy being alone in life, whether that's me going to concerts on my own or crafty events.
- Elizabeth
Living alone or feeling isolated can often feel overwhelming, but it can also be a powerful catalyst for personal growth and self-awareness. From my experience, embracing solitude is not about resignation—it's about learning to find joy and contentment within yourself. When traditional social connections or romantic relationships don’t work out, it doesn’t mean you are alone or incomplete; it means you have a unique opportunity to explore your interests and passions without external pressure. Dealing with mental health challenges like major depressive disorder (MDD) adds layers of difficulty to everyday life. Yet, I found that engaging in physical activity like running, even if it’s something you have mixed feelings about, can provide a mental reset. The rhythm of running helps clear the mind and lifts the fog of depression bit by bit. Pairing these moments with relaxing hobbies such as watching k-dramas can also be a great way to distract your mind in a healthy way while connecting emotionally to stories and characters. Discovering and accepting your sexuality later in life is another journey that takes courage and self-compassion. Being bisexual, for example, comes with its own complexities and feelings of uncertainty, especially in a society that often makes people feel pressured to conform or hide parts of themselves. It’s important to hold space for your feelings and realize that attraction and identity can evolve over time. “Modern romance” might feel elusive or even dead at times, but that’s often influenced by the digital age’s fast pace and mismatched expectations on dating apps. Choosing to step back from dating apps and social pressures doesn’t mean giving up on love—it means prioritizing self-care and personal growth first. Sometimes, focusing on yourself—whether that means attending concerts alone, exploring crafty events, or simply enjoying your own company—can rebuild confidence and happiness. Ultimately, learning to be happy alone is about redefining what companionship means to you. It’s about finding fulfillment in your passions, celebrating small wins, and recognizing your worth outside traditional relationship constructs. Solitude can be a sanctuary where healing and self-discovery happen, and it’s okay to accept that being alone is not a failure but a brave and meaningful choice.
