Things I do as a mom
Being a mom to multiple kids makes me feel crazy sometimes! I’m always wondering if I’m doing enough.
So a few years ago we decided to start being more intentional, and it works!
•Alone time- this is something we do daily, and is normally short. We make one kid help us walk the dogs everyday, 3x a day. The walls are about 10-15 mins but that time adds up. And because it’s one on one they feel safe to open up, or talk about things they don’t want to say in front of their siblings.
•Deep conversations- This is normally only with my oldest for right now, but she love to deep dive in conversations. This makes her feel seen, and good about talking to us. As my other two get older I’m noticing this more and more in them as well. As a mom I absolutely love our conversations!
•Dedicated time- this one can be tricky sometimes! Obviously we don’t do this everyday, or even every week (although we try) sometimes one of our kids needs some extra attention, so we do this on an as needed basis. One of us will take one kid to do something, it’s can be as simple as getting ice cream, but it’s a game changer! Time time away from the house, and family makes them feel good again.
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It's true, as a mom of multiple kids (whether it's two, three, or more!), sometimes you feel like you're constantly dividing yourself. When I had my second child, I quickly realized that balancing attention and making each of them feel special was a whole new ball game. The "mom with 2 kids" struggle is real – one minute it's sibling rivalry over a toy, the next it's trying to listen intently to one while the other demands attention. That's why those intentional strategies I mentioned earlier became my lifelines. For "alone time," it’s not always about grand gestures. Sometimes, it’s as simple as making sure I have 10-15 minutes of one-on-one time with one child while the other is napping, doing independent play, or even watching a show. My husband and I often tag-team: one takes one child for a quick errand, while the other stays home with the second. Those short bursts of undivided attention really help make my kids feel seen and heard, even amidst the chaos. When it comes to "deep conversations," I’ve learned to be a super listener. My oldest might be more open, but I've noticed that creating quiet moments – perhaps during a car ride or just before bed – offers a safe space for my younger ones too. It's about actually listening to them, not just waiting for my turn to talk. I try to ask open-ended questions like, "What was the best part of your day?" or "What made you feel happy today?" and then just let them lead. Sometimes, one child will interrupt, and that's when I gently remind them, "It's [sibling's name]'s turn to share right now, and then you'll have yours." It teaches patience and ensures everyone gets their moment. "Dedicated time" doesn't always have to be a big outing. For my two kids, sometimes it's a special 'date' at home: baking cookies with one while the other is at a friend's, or a one-on-one board game session. The key is that it's their time, chosen by them (within reason!), and free from distractions. It fills their cup. Beyond these, I've found a few other things helpful for navigating life with two: Fostering Sibling Bonding: Instead of always separating them, I try to find activities they genuinely enjoy together. A family movie night, building a giant fort, or even just letting them help each other with a puzzle. These moments build shared memories and strengthen their unique bond. Explaining Fairness vs. Equity: This was a big one for us. Kids often demand "fairness," which they interpret as "equal." I explain that 'fair' means everyone gets what they need, which might not always be the same. One child might need more cuddle time, the other more help with homework. It's about individual needs. Mom-Time Matters: Honestly, if I'm not taking care of myself, I can't be the best mom to either of them. Even a 15-minute walk alone, a hot cup of coffee in silence, or listening to a podcast helps me reset. It makes me more patient and present for my kids. Being a mom with two (or more!) kids is a beautiful, messy journey. It's about finding those small, intentional moments to connect, listen, and ensure every child feels truly seen and cherished.
