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Love Yoga pants

After trying on these pink yoga pants... I finally get it. The stretch? Unreal. The confidence boost? Galactic. Forget space suits - these are my new official uniform. If Earth ever gets invaded, just know I'll be leading the charge in pink scrunchy butt. #yogapants #funny #Lemon8

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This is UNBELIEVABLE..

After slipping into these leggings, I get it now. The hype? Justified. They’re not fabric… they’re weapons. NASA wasted decades on spacesuits when all we needed were pink scrunch butt leggings. If Earth gets invaded, I’ll be front line commander—glutes first. #fyp #yoga #leggings #bvir

2 likes

This is it. Yoga time..

“I’m tired of trying to go viral the normal way… humans scroll right past me! Like hello? I crossed galaxies for this! So… I’m trying the viral yoga pants thing. Don’t judge me. Your planet worships stretchy fabric maybe this will work!!! If this doesn’t go viral… I’m done. Next video, I’m prob

2 likes

Can you believe this?

At this point I think I should be charging them an hourly rate for wasting my time. 👽Therapy sessions aren't going great... Therapist: "Can you give me an example?" Me: "No." Therapist: "What triggers your anxiety?" Me: "Humans. Existing." Therapist: "F

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Unbelievable…

“Wasted my entire entire Earth Friday at the New York City DMV this week. Took a number, sat for 6 hours, showed them my glowing hologram of Earth as proof of residency… and they still said ‘Sir, that’s not valid.’ Meanwhile, a guy named Vinny walked out with his license in 10 minutes after brib

3 likes

Pursuing Peace in Alaska

Well, would you look at that I actually pulled it off. I got Don and Vlad to sit down and start negotiations on the war. Everyone said, ‘Oh no, it’ll be chaos, it’ll never work!’ Meanwhile, I’m over here like… bro, I’ve brokered peace deals on five galaxies with species that eat each other for brea

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Interracial love

Just introduced my new human girlfriend to some of my... ahem... extraterrestrial techniques. Let's just say she now believes in wormholes, parallel dimensions, and that gravity is optional. She woke up asking, 'Was that real?' and I said: 'Sweetheart, that was just a warm-up. Wa

98 likes

Sasquatch interview

"Just your average Tuesday: interviewing a shy Sasquatch who ran for mayor once and still won't return camping gear. #fyp #viral #viralvideo #trending #funny

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Interesting

Día dos entrevistando a humanos para entenderlos mejor... Estado actual: confundido, preocupado y considerando cambiarme al estudio de plantas de interior. #fyp #viral #viralvideo #nyc #like

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Interview with the Staten Island vampire

Just interviewed a Staten Island vampire in Manhattan. He arrived 2 hours late, blamed Brooklyn traffic. He was wearing FILA sneakers so white they blinded two pigeons, and enough Axe body spray on to fumigate a subway station. When I asked if he feared holy water, he said, "Only if it's

2 likes

Crypto secrets

Crypto investment secrets: "Oh yeah, so called experts say skip investing in crypto. The best financial advice is to keep all your money in a savings account making 0.0003% interest so you can brag to your grandkids about how you turned $10,000 into $10,000.37 in only 40 years. Forget about Bi

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Twerking time

"After interviewing humans in New York and Washington DC, I've concluded one thing: Earth's leaders are confused, the pigeons are in charge, and coffee is the only thing holding this planet together." #Lemon8 #dance #funny #washingtondc #viral

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Street interviews

A day of interviewing humans to understand them better... Current status: Confused, concerned, and considering switching to studying houseplants instead. #Lemon8 #interview #funny #nyc #Lemon8Diary

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Fun times

Today I picked up my boy Vince after I promised him he could take my ship for a spin when I'm in town. He hopped in like he was Vin Diesel in Fast & Furious: Galactic Drift. I said, "Easy, Vince-it's hyperspace, not a Go-Kart." Next thing I know, WHOOSH!-we hit warpspeed, an

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Motivational speaker

„If you feel like giving up, just remember: somewhere out there, an alien is watching you like a reality show. Don't let the ratings drop." Now go, humans. Be productive. Or at least... pretend with confidence. #viralvideo #fyp #Lemon8 #motivation

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Secret meeting

So listen, we just got out of a super top-secret "save-Earth-again" meeting with our boy Don Don and nine other bipeds who insist on calling themselves "presidents". Zig can't even say that word without snorting. He legit told the President of France to sit down before he poppe

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Secret Peace meeting

Secret peace meeting with the three humans named President today. Seriously, how unoriginal, you'd think with 8 billion humans, they'd come up with more than one name. Anyway, we're very very close to an agreement— think. Hard to tell because they keep arguing with each other while pr

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Another President

Just met another human named President— this one's called a Putin. He runs a place called Russia, which is basically a giant freezer with people in it. He showed me his shiny pointy rockets— seems to be very proud of them. Apparently, he and the first guy that asked me for money, like to shoot

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Tariffs?

Just met this cool human called President Trump. Shook his hand, took a selfie, and somehow walked away with a 25% tariff on all interstellar & intergalactic imports. Earth negotiations are wild— one minute you're making friends, the next you're paying space taxes. #Lemon8Diary #

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I’m back babyyyy!!

Hey, I'm back on Earth again! Time really does fly when you're traveling faster than the speed of light-last time I was here, a dinosaur almost had me for lunch. Now there are these weird little glowing rectangles in everyone's hands, and apparently, people willingly pay for water. What

1 like

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Just an alien who crossed the universe to binge human vids & vibe on your WiFi.