Recovering from the most traumatic 2 weeks ✨
The past 2 weeks have just been the biggest slap in the face. It started on the 1st of September when I was in class, I received the devastating news that my grandpa had passed away. I am currently studying in Australia and I felt so helpless as I didn’t even have a chance to say goodbye properly. I had then had to decide if I wanted to stay in Australia to sit for my exam on the Saturday (6th of September) or defer it and come back to Singapore for the funeral. Ultimately I flew back for the funeral and got the exam deferment. It’s not easy to lose a love one you were close with but it’s especially hard when you have to do it alone in another country. The day after I landed back in Australia (7th of September) I attended a boat party hosted by the school. After the event I was walking home from the train station when I was attacked and sexually assaulted. At that point I felt completely and utterly broken, never in my life did I ever think that this situation would ever happen to me.
I started to wonder why bad things were suddenly happening to me starting with the loss of my grandpa and now getting sexually assaulted in the same week. Being attacked changes you in so many ways. I was previously never scared of going out till late but now, the moment the sun sets my heart starts to pound. I had bad anxiety for a week barely able to leave my home to attend classes. The police on the other hand kept giving me bad news after bad news and I just felt like I hit rock bottom.
I felt my mental state deteriorating fast, going through all that in a span of under a week was unbearable, I was just a shell of a person unable to get out of bed and if I made it out I’ll be back on the bed in a short amount of time. It all was made worse when I received the call from the police.
I got my hopes up thinking that I will get justice from my attack but when I heard the words “we dropped the charges to attempted robbery” my heart sank to the bottom of the floor. All because the attacker was a minor the police believed him over me and he got away with no prison time and no punishment. Only a flag in his record and a warning. I truly truly hit the bottom of the ocean. I began to start doubting my experience, wondering if I made it up in my head.
I just felt so unjustified and invalidated I began to stop taking care of myself and start slipping into a state of depression.
On a random Wednesday as I laid in bed for the 3rd day in a row was when I realise that I needed to heal, that was when I decided that I will not let whatever I been through take over. I wanted to reclaim what was taken away from me and I wanted to heal. I knew my grandpa was watching me and I knew If he was beside me he would tell me to get up and get better and that is what I have been trying to do the past few days.
I started running again. I started to cook my favourite foods again. And overall I started to take care of myself again. I have been doing skincare and just watching over my wellness. I also began to open up to mentors and seek advice from them no longer hiding the fact that I was not okay.
I know that healing and recovery is a journey, I will definitely fall at times and go back into a depressive state. But it’s okay I have to learn to forgive myself and grow 🫶🏻
Recovering from traumatic experiences involves a complex process of emotional, mental, and physical healing. When faced with such adversities as losing a loved one and experiencing sexual assault, it’s natural to feel overwhelmed and disconnected from daily life. Many survivors often experience anxiety, fear, and depression, making it difficult to engage in ordinary activities. Acknowledging these feelings is a crucial first step in healing. It can be helpful to create a support system that includes trusted friends, mentors, or mental health professionals who can provide guidance and a listening ear. Physical activities, such as running or gentle exercise, also play a powerful role in releasing stress and improving mood, helping to rebuild a sense of control over one’s body. Self-care routines like cooking favorite meals and practicing skincare can restore a sense of normalcy and personal nurturing during healing. It’s important to remember that healing is not linear—there will be ups and downs. Practicing self-forgiveness and embracing gradual growth encourages resilience. Legal and justice processes after an assault might sometimes feel invalidating, especially if outcomes don’t align with what survivors expect or hope for. Understanding this can help in managing expectations and focusing on recovery first. Engaging with communities or organizations dedicated to mental health and trauma support can provide additional resources and hope. Ultimately, reclaiming one’s life after such traumatic weeks requires patience, courage, and ongoing support. This journey can empower individuals to emerge stronger, with renewed commitment to personal wellness and mental health.
:( I’m sorry you had to go through that dear, I really really hope you don’t let this event define you. May your journey towards peace and happiness come with ease 🫶