I felt Like I didn’t Have a voice
If you’re a 90s baby like me there was just certain stuff we could NOT do. Like talking when an adult is talking. Like talking back. Like saying any word that even resembled a curse word. (What the heck) or Like even making a face that even looked like we had an attitude. When I was growing up kids were to be seen and not heard. We had CHORES & it wasn’t the kind of thing where they told you to do it , you just better know it needed to get done or you ain’t going no where. If you were told to “wash the dishes” that meant clean the ENTIRE kitchen. You had to be in the house before the street lights. We didn’t have “grounding” we had belts , hangers and anything else they could use to punish with. OR we were put on restriction which meant phones or anything else fun were taken until they felt like giving it back. This wasn’t something that was negotiable . This caused me to not express myself a lot. I held a lot of things in. The adults held the authority so I just did as I was told. But because I couldn’t say things that I wanted to, I kept that mindset growing up. I would allow people to say and do things and just hold it in. It took me a while to have my voice. Because I kind of thought that was a normal thing. And it’s sad to say but I think it built a tolerance in me for things I should’ve never tolerated and stayed in relationships longer than I needed to. A con of that is that once I found my voice . It took a while to mature. It came out raw and unfiltered many times which hurt a lot of people. & now I think I speak my mind a little too much. Although I’ve learned to curve it and speak my truth, I now speak it in kindness. Because people deserve truth and Kindness. All the time. The way I would want the truth.
#embracevulnerability #lemon8creator #Lemon8Diary #truth #childhoodtrauma #blackgirlcreator #jesus #transparent #testimony #blackgirlcontentcreator
Growing up in a restrictive environment often shapes one's ability to express feelings and assert boundaries. Many individuals raised in similar situations experience a delay in developing effective communication skills. Understanding the long-term effects of such upbringing can aid in personal growth. It’s essential to recognize that allowing oneself to feel and communicate emotions is a vital part of healing. Workshops, therapy, or self-help literature can offer strategies to break the cycle of silence and learn effective expression. Online communities, such as support groups for childhood trauma, provide safe spaces to share experiences and foster understanding. Moreover, practicing vulnerability through journaling or discussions with trusted friends can ease the fear of being misunderstood. Building self-awareness through these practices helps in recognizing one's feelings, improving relationships, and learning to articulate thoughts and needs. Ultimately, reclaiming one’s voice is not simply about speaking up; it's about doing so in a manner that is respectful and kind. By learning to articulate emotions effectively, individuals can foster healthier connections and promote their well-being.
Words. Right. Out. Of. My. Mouth!!!!!! Word for word And not only that, but I was in a household where any emotion other than grateful / happy was a burden: “What you sad for?” “Who you think you getting mad at?” “Fix your face!” So as an adult i am afraid to express any negative emotions for fear you’ll leave 😭