Something we found doesn't have to be passed on to you. 🥹
Lately, Ma Mie thinks about raising Phoebus often too.
Sometimes people say,
"You're still small. You'll be older and know if you can."
Or some people might wonder how much positive parenting will do on the day you grow up, the day you start to have more needs, the day you start to argue, the day you start to not be what we thought.
Ma Mie himself doesn't know how good to do.
Because Phoebus was just starting his life, and Mamie was just starting his mother, too.
But there is one thing that Ma Mie knows from before having the bus
Is that Ma Mie really wants to think about raising him well
It's not because I think I know best.
But before we meant to have him, we asked ourselves many times:
If one day we had a child, what kind of childhood would we like?
What kind of feeling do we want him to remember his own home?
So what we used to get as kids, is there anything we wanted to pass on?
And is there anything we feel...
If we can choose, we don't want Phoebus to meet the same way.
Growing up, we realized that growing up doesn't mean everything we've ever experienced is good.
We also have something attached to ourselves.
Some stories as a child, we don't understand why we feel that way.
Some thought it was normal.
But when you grow up to understand that some feelings are still with us,
Could be fear.
Uncertainty.
Not daring to speak your own feelings.
Or thinking about what it takes to be loved or accepted.
It doesn't mean that the person who raised us doesn't love us at all.
On the contrary, many things even arise from love.
Each generation also raised children with what they themselves knew at the time.
Some things we received and we continued without ever having the opportunity to think
Is this really necessary with children?
Until the day we have children
That's why we had a chance to stop watching it again.
And choose
Anything good. We want to pass it on.
What we're not sure about, let's learn more.
And what we feel used to hurt us
We may not need to pass it on to Phoebus.
Ma Mi said that this is very important.
Because raising children is not just what we intend to teach.
There are things that we do automatically too.
When we're tired
When we're angry,
When you're not happy
We often unconsciously pick up on ways we've seen.
In psychology, there are the concepts of passing on, relationship patterns and intergenerational parenting in common.
We may learn how to respond to our children's feelings from what we used to get as children.
So it's important to know what we got.
Not to blame the past.
But to make today we have more right to choose.
Ma Mie didn't think that raising a Phoebus like this would make everything perfect.
Ma Mie would have a tired day.
Have a day that accidentally speaks badly
Have a day that is not calm
Have a date to do something wrong too
But what Ma Mie wants to do is, if we fail, we can fix it.
Sorry.
Can hug each other
And learn again.
Because positive parenting for Mamie doesn't mean you have to get everything you want.
Doesn't mean there are no boundaries.
And that doesn't mean Ma Mi has to calm down at any time.
It just means that even if we have to teach, forbid or lay boundaries,
We still try to see Phoebus as a child learning the world.
It's not a child who needs to be frightened to obey.
And it's not a kid who needs to be perfect to know himself to be loved.
Ma Mie thinks our house should be like this.
We may not get it right every time.
But we'll try to know
Try to listen.
Keep trying to learn Phoebus.
And learn yourself along the way.
Who would raise any kind of child? Ma Mi didn't want to judge at all.
Each house has its own context.
And for our home
This is our baby.
We want to choose what we think is good for him.
It's not because it thinks our way is better than anyone's.
But because we have the opportunity to think before choosing
And knowing more, we have a chance to change.
Something we've been through doesn't make us bad.
It just makes us see that there's something we want to do differently for you.
Because something we've endured.
Phoebus doesn't have to endure.
Something we used to think was normal.
Phoebus may not need to meet.
And something that's been passed on for generations.
If today, Ma Mie can choose
Ma Mie wants it to stop at Ma Mie.
And pass it on to Phoebus just what we want him to carry for the rest of his life.
Love
Safety
The confidence that he can speak his own feelings.
And the feeling that
No matter what kind of person he grows into,
He was still the same Phoebus who was always loved by this house. ❤️
♪ Something stops at us # Raising positive children # Positive parenting # New parents # Understand children# Understand children # Child psychology # Child development # Parent-child relationship # Raising children with understanding # No passing on wounds # Stop passing on wounds # Childhood # Family # Mother and child # Mame's note # Phoebus # phbus
