Coming home... the day I had nothing left.

After I walked home,

It's not because I want to go back.

But because I "have nowhere to go."

I had no plans, no money, and I didn't even know

What will life be like from now?

The only thing there is

There's a house. There's rice to eat.

That's it, really.

And in the back of the lid like that,

There's only one way. "Stay with it."

That moment.

I became like a human mother.

Get up early, cook, clean the house.

Make milk, raise grandchildren, take care of mother

Around like that all day. Day after day.

Very tired.

A life that used to run after success.

Turns out to be "the most ordinary life."

Until sometimes

I looked at myself and laughed.

From people who used to want to succeed, want to look good

Now it's a full grandmother.

But very strange.

In that ordinary

I started seeing something.

Being with a child is exhausting.

But his transparency, his purity.

It reflects something back on me.

Ready-to-learn children

Ready to fall. Ready to forget.

Crying like the world is broken

But when you find a new toy, you laugh.

Really forgot.

Not just trying to forget.

And I started asking myself,

Why aren't we like this?

Why do we still carry the past?

Carrying pain, carrying image

Always.

In the first period,

I still think a lot. Shy. Compare.

Question yourself.

"Graduated with a master's degree.

In the end, is life like this? "

"How would someone else look at me?"

Those sounds are still in their heads.

But in the meantime,

I started listening to Dharma every day.

Like deep down, I know that.

Something in a past life.

It's "distorted."

I started laying.

Can drop the craving

Drop the image

Putting must look good

Although not fully laid, but much lighter.

I can start living.

To farm, to garden, to live a simple life.

And discovered that

This kind of life... It is another kind of happiness.

I'm brave. Dare to tell people that.

I'm back at home (hillbilly).

I live like this.

Even sometimes. Comparative feelings.

Still stopped back

Time to see others go a long way.

But I can live with it more.

Until over a year

I'm starting to see the other side of the truth.

Despite the simple life, the debt remains.

And it has to be dealt with.

When I get well, you have someone to take care of.

So I decided again.

Back to work. Not to prove anything.

But to "clear life."

Take debts, save money, and find your own way.

Because this time

I'm not going back to the way I was.

I went back.

Ready to change something.

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Thanks for reading here. 🙏🙏🙏

See you in the next chapter. 🥰🥰🥰