Why we self-abandon
Take a breath with me and hear me.
You’re not lazy. You’re not broken.
You’re protecting yourself.
Somewhere along the way, you were taught that it wasn’t safe to be in your body. That it wasn’t safe to make choices or take action unless it was for someone else. You weren’t allowed to have your best interest in mind, let alone even consider a want.
Maybe you were shamed blatantly.
Or maybe it was more covert, masked as someone “just looking out for you.”
The motives and ideals of others that were placed upon you, disguised and falsely implied to be in your best interest… well, it’s a load of crap.
Oh, I can guess what your brain is doing right now. You’re running through all the things others insisted were in your best interest, from the simple things like wearing your seatbelt to extremes.
But that’s not what we’re talking about here.
Those thoughts bubbling up? They’re old survival patterns, nervous system habits designed to keep your sense of what’s best for you in someone else’s hands.
It takes practice to shift that.
It takes practice to trust yourself again.
To make decisions aligned with your body, your truth, your intuition.
To retrain your brain to understand that being fully embodied is actually the most beautiful form of protection.
This doesn’t happen all at once.
(Maybe it does for you, and if so, go get it!!)
But for most of us, it happens gently. Softly.
One spark at a time.
The magic begins by tending to those sparks.
By breathing life into them.
By choosing yourself without guilt or apology.
You are not alone.
Let’s take a breath together.
Place one hand on your chest and feel it rise and fall.
Inhale.
Exhale.
One does not exist without the other.
Just as you cannot only ever rise, you cannot only ever fall.
You don’t have to disappear from your life anymore.
Your spark is calling.
Follow it.
💜✨🕸️✨💜
#selfabandonment #self love #nervoussystemregulation #embodiment #empoweringwomen
Many of us experience moments when we feel foggy, numb, or as if we are just going through the motions in life. These sensations often signal that our nervous system is in survival mode—a protective mechanism designed to keep us safe by disconnecting us from our true feelings and bodily awareness. This disconnection, sometimes referred to as self-abandonment, can stem from early experiences where choices and desires were suppressed or invalidated, often disguised as care or protection by others. Understanding this pattern is crucial to healing. Self-abandonment is not a sign of laziness or brokenness; rather, it is a deeply ingrained survival habit that kept us safe in a world that felt unsafe. Our nervous system learned to prioritize external approval and safety over internal truth, making it challenging to trust ourselves fully. Healing begins with embodiment—the process of reconnecting with our bodies and learning to listen to our intuition. Practicing nervous system regulation, such as mindful breathing and grounding exercises, can help soothe those old survival responses. Techniques like placing a hand on the chest and tuning into the breath—feeling it rise and fall—serve as reminders that life is a balance of inhale and exhale, rise and fall. This balance mirrors our emotional and physical existence and teaches us that vulnerability and strength coexist. Choosing yourself without guilt or apology is an act of courage and self-respect. It involves tending to those small sparks of self-awareness and self-compassion, nurturing them gently until they grow into a resilient flame. Remember, healing is rarely instantaneous; it unfolds softly and gradually, spark by spark. By embracing embodiment and nervous system regulation, you reclaim your right to be present in your life. You no longer need to disappear into survival mode or live in a place of disconnection. Instead, you can confidently follow your inner spark—your truth—towards a life of authenticity, empowerment, and self-love. This journey not only promotes personal healing but also inspires and empowers others, especially women, to break free from limiting patterns and embrace their fullest potential.
