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Is it only my child who is a child-rearing senryu?

2025/9/1 Edited to

... Read more「パパ嫌いって言うの、ママのせいなのかな…」って検索しちゃう気持ち、すごく分かります。私も最初は「私が普段なにか言い過ぎた?」「パパの悪口を聞かせた?」って反省モードになりました。でも結論から言うと、“ママのせい”と決めつけなくて大丈夫なことが多いです。 うちの場合も、まさに「パパ嫌い!あっち行って!」ってパパをぐいぐい押して、その空いたスペースに「ママこっち!」。見てる側は笑えるけど、パパは地味に傷つくやつ…。ただ、子どもって「嫌い=本当に拒絶」じゃなくて、気持ちを強めに表現して“ママを確保したい”ことがよくあります。特に甘えたい時、眠い時、環境が変わった時(保育園疲れ、帰宅直後、寝る前)に出やすい印象でした。 私が効果あったなと思うのは、まずママが「パパを否定しない通訳」になることです。例えば子どもが「パパ嫌い!」と言ったら、すぐ叱るより先に「ママのところに来たかったんだね」「今はママがいい気分なんだね」と気持ちだけ受け止めます。そのうえで「でも“あっち行って”は悲しい言い方だよ。『いまはママがいい』って言おう」と言い換えを教えると、パパの心も守れました。 パパ側には、正面突破より“横から参加”が合う時が多かったです。いきなり抱っこで迫ると拒否が強くなるので、絵本を読む係・お風呂の泡で遊ぶ係・寝る前の1分だけぎゅー係みたいに、短くて成功しやすい役割を作るとスムーズでした。子どもが「パパ嫌い あっち行って ママこっち!」モードでも、「じゃあパパは絵本だけ読んで戻るね」みたいに撤退ラインを決めておくと、家庭の空気が荒れにくいです。 それでも続く時は、ママが無意識に「危ないからパパじゃなくて私がやる」「そのやり方違うよ」と介入しすぎていないかだけ、軽く振り返りました。パパの出番を奪うと、子どもも“ママが正解”になりやすいので、私は意識して「パパお願い」「パパすごいね」を増やしました。 最後に、パパが一番つらいのは“孤立感”なので、子どもの前じゃなくても「今日のあれ、傷つくよね。いつもありがとう」と一言伝えるだけで全然違います。みんなはどう?同じように「パパ嫌い」期あったら、出やすいタイミング(寝る前、帰宅後など)もぜひ教えてください。

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