Did you stay friends with your ex?
After my ex and I split, we didn’t block each other, we actually became solid friends. Sometimes we’ll shoot texts about our weeks like when I had a brutal work deadline or he found a new taco spot. We even vent about annoying coworkers now and then.
But my friends think it’s so weird. They keep saying it’s “unhealthy” to be this close to an ex.
Honestly, it feels totally fine to me. We understand each other, and we have no awkwardness left, just two people who used to date, now just checking in. And can we talk? Why do people act like exes have to be enemies? Not every breakup ends in a fight!
Curious, have any of you stayed friends with an ex? Did your friends give you grief about it too? How’d that work out for you?
It's so interesting to hear everyone's thoughts on staying friends with an ex! My initial post just scratched the surface, because let's be real, the moment a new relationship enters the picture, things get a whole lot more complicated, right? That's precisely what many of you are asking about – is it okay to be friends with your ex when you're actually dating someone else? From my own experience, and what I've observed, the biggest hurdle isn't usually with the ex themselves, but with how a new partner perceives the situation. When I was seeing someone new, the topic of my ex-friendship definitely came up. It wasn't accusatory, but there was a definite hint of 'is this weird?' or 'should I be worried?' It made me really think about why I maintained that friendship and what boundaries were important. I think the key is communication, with both your ex and your new partner. It’s not about hiding anything, but about being transparent. With my new partner, I made sure to explain the nature of my friendship with my ex – that it’s purely platonic, built on a shared past, and there's no lingering romantic feeling. We talk about our lives, share funny work stories, and that's it. No late-night texts, no private dinners. It's about respecting the boundaries of my current relationship. And honestly, it's a two-way street. My ex also understands that my current relationship is a priority. We don't overstep, and we definitely wouldn't share anything that would make a new partner uncomfortable. It's about mutual respect. Sometimes, people worry about the 'what ifs' – what if feelings resurface? What if the new partner feels threatened? That's where self-awareness comes in. You have to be honest with yourself about your true intentions and make sure your actions align with them. I've learned that it's crucial to put yourself in your new partner's shoes. Their feelings are valid. Perhaps they've had a bad experience before, or maybe they just have different expectations about exes. It's not about cutting off a meaningful friendship if it's genuinely platonic and healthy, but about finding a way for everyone to feel secure. Sometimes, a period of reduced contact is necessary when a new relationship is forming, just to allow that new bond to solidify without perceived interference. Ultimately, is it weird to be good friends after a breakup, especially when you're in a new relationship? My take, after navigating it myself, is that it can be okay, but it requires a lot of emotional maturity, clear boundaries, and open communication with everyone involved. It's not a one-size-fits-all answer, and sometimes, for the sake of a new, potentially wonderful relationship, some friendships with exes might need to be re-evaluated or adjusted. What are your boundaries when it comes to ex-friendships and new partners?
See more comments