I’m not a gold digger but am I terrible?

This isn’t about him not being rich, it’s about him checking out when life got hard. We have been together 3 years. We moved into a cute house after he had a solid job and I was killing it with full-time dance work and side gigs, saving for my dream car, even paying for extra classes. Life felt good until it all crashed.

He lost his job, then we had to mortgage the house and his car just to stay afloat. Now, he’s glued to his phone 24/7 arguing online, moping, and acting like cleaning the house once a week means he doesn’t owe me sh*t. I’m covering EVERY bill, draining my savings, and he won’t even apply for entry-level jobs.

I get the job market sucks but I told him I don’t need him to be a millionaire just try. I’ve given him deadlines like he’s a kid and he still brushes me off. He’s a good guy deep down but this freeloading, “woe is me” vibe is killing me. Would he stick around if I was the one who lost everything? Am I an asshole for wanting to walk away before I’m broke too?😭

#Letschat #Asklemon8 #RelationshipStruggles

2025/12/2 Edited to

... Read moreFacing financial hardship can test even the strongest relationships. When one partner loses their job and begins to withdraw from responsibilities, it creates an imbalance that breeds resentment and stress. Many couples experience conflict when only one person shoulders bills and upkeep, causing emotional and financial exhaustion. It's crucial to recognize that job market challenges affect many, and feelings of frustration or despair are natural. However, maintaining open communication about efforts to seek employment and shared household duties can help mitigate feelings of freeloading or neglect. Setting realistic expectations and mutual deadlines for job searches might encourage accountability without creating a parent-child dynamic. Furthermore, emotional support is essential. Partners need to feel heard and understood rather than blamed. Therapy or counseling may provide tools to navigate these struggles constructively. Remember, how a relationship endures hardship often depends on both partners' willingness to adapt and support each other, not their financial status alone. If the situation involves one partner constantly glued to their phone, engaging in escapism or online arguments instead of facing reality, it can signal deeper issues such as depression or avoidance coping mechanisms. Encouraging professional help or exploring stress management techniques may be beneficial. Ultimately, understanding that financial downturns are temporary but lack of effort and communication can cause permanent damage may clarify decisions about staying or walking away. Protecting your well-being and resources is important, but so is empathy in difficult times. Relationships thrive when both people try despite setbacks, not just when circumstances are easy.

219 comments

KeyTheBartender's images
KeyTheBartender

Girl honestly it’s not even about the money at this point. I mean it is, but he is purposely freeloading off of you and you aren’t his mom. I completely understand having the history with him, but that should also be why he wants to be a better partner, not a worse one. It sounds like he’s using you and feels entitled to do it :(

Kai Wilson's images
Kai Wilson

people acting like hes not victimizing himself and leeching off her

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