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For anyone who feels their reactions belong to a much younger self

My author copies arrived today I opened the package and it did not feel real I sat down planning to skim it and ended up reading the entire book in forty minutes Every page felt like meeting a version of myself I had been trying to understand for years Holding Bathwater in my hands made

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Avoidance is the freeze response wearing normal clothes

Avoidance gets judged so quickly. People call it distance, coldness, disconnection, not caring. But avoidance is almost never about not caring. It is what happens when your body has learned that closeness, conflict, needs or being seen has a cost your system cannot afford. Avoidance is not

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People used to tell me you cannot love anyone else if you do not love yourself.

And for a long time I believed them. But now I understand something deeper. People who grew up in survival mode love others easily. Fiercely. Completely. Sometimes too much. Because loving others was never the problem. The real struggle is loving yourself when your entire childhood taught

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your body keeps the score, always

There is a moment no matter what time zone you are in when the world finally slows down and your body tells the truth. The crash. The heaviness. The irritability. The overthinking that hits out of nowhere. The exhaustion that shows up the second you stop moving. The feeling like your chest

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Most people don’t realise they’re parenting from a nervous system that never got

got the chance to feel safe. They think they’re overreacting. They think they’re too sensitive. They think they’re failing. But what’s actually happening is this: A childhood built around survival created patterns that adulthood keeps triggering. And then they become parents… and tho

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Bathwater is live on Amazon and kindle https://mybook.to/BATHWATER

Bathwater is live on Amazon and kindle https://mybook.to/BATHWATER This is not just a memoir. It is a nervous system story. If you grew up scanning the room before you scanned yourself, if you learned to stay small to stay safe, if your body still reacts before your mind understa

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A lot of people become parents while still carrying the emotional patterns they had to survive as children and without realising it, those patterns get passed down. Not because they don’t love their kids. Not because they’re careless. But because no one ever taught them how to understand the p

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BATHWATER is not a metaphor.

It's where my stepdad tried to drown me while my mum was at the shops. I was 4. I grew up in the kind of house that looked "normal" from the outside. No police. No headlines. Just a kid making her own Vegemite sandwiches because no one else would. Just a nervous system that learne

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There’s a feeling you don’t talk about the one that hits you in the middle of an

an ordinary moment when nothing is wrong and yet something inside you aches as if your body just remembered something your mind hasn’t caught up to. It starts subtly. A heaviness behind the ribs. A shallow, fluttery tightening in your chest. The kind of sensation you’d miss if you we

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Shaking is one of the most misunderstood parts of survival mode

People think it means you are losing control But often it is the opposite It is your body trying to come back to you When your nervous system senses danger it floods you with adrenaline Even if the danger is old Even if it is only a memory Even if nothing dangerous is happening anymore I

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Most people think healing is one moment.

One breakthrough. One realisation. One reset. But healing is quieter than that. It happens in layers your nervous system moves through long before your mind catches up. You notice the pattern… but still don’t understand why it keeps repeating. You understand the pattern… but still f

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There’s a part of you that never disappeared.

Even in the years you were surviving more than living. Even when you went quiet inside yourself. Even when your body reacted before you had words for it. That part of you stayed. Not because you were broken. Not because something was wrong with you. But because your nervous system learn

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I've been writing something in secret for two years.

It's not a workbook. It's not a guide. It's my story. BATHWATER — the memoir about the childhood that taught my body fear, and the slow, uneasy process of learning safety again. It's raw. It's honest. And it's finally almost ready. Softcover + Kindle, coming to Am

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Not antisocial, just overwhelmed and trying to stay regulated

Presence isn’t a behaviour. It’s a nervous system state. When presence feels impossible, it’s not because you don’t care. It’s because your nervous system is still trying to recover from everything you’ve been carrying. People say “just get out more” like it’s a switch. But they don’t see

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Presence feels impossible when guilt replaces connection and shutdown takes over

That’s not mum guilt. That’s anticipatory grief. The toddler voice. The little hand reaching for yours. The bedtime cuddles. The “watch this mum” moments. And then your brain starts collecting evidence against you. Days you were too overwhelmed to play. Days you snapped. Days you said “not

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They're safe in class. So why can't you breathe properly?

You drop them at school. They walk in fine. Everything looks normal. And then your body reacts before your mind even catches up. Your chest tightens. Your stomach flips. Your breath changes. And suddenly your mind is scanning for danger that isn’t even there. Did I send them too sick

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There’s a kind of grief your mind moves on from long before your body does.

The kind that hits you out of nowhere in the middle of the day, in the middle of a sentence, in the middle of pretending you’re fine and suddenly your chest tightens like you can’t get a full breath in. Your throat closes. Your stomach drops. Your hands go cold. Your whole body goes tense like it’s

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If this post found you today, maybe it’s because there’s a younger part of you..

that’s still waiting for the mother you needed. And maybe you’re realising, the way I did, that the healing isn’t about blaming the past it’s about finally choosing yourself in the present. If this stirred something in you, if it touched a place you don’t usually let people see, I want you to

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You ever wake up and feel like your body is already carrying something you never

Not a thought, not a memory, not a story just a weight. A heaviness that sits in your chest before you’ve even opened your eyes. A tightness that makes your first breath of the day feel shallow. A pressure that feels like you’re already behind, already bracing, already holding yourself together

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You know that feeling you've never been able to explain?

The one you've carried your whole life but never had words for? The one that sits in your chest like a quiet ache, a tightness, a heaviness you learned to live around? That feeling is the moment your body leaves you before anyone else can. It's the split-second where you disconnect

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quietly.feeling

quietlyfeeling.com

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Heal your inner child & reclaim self-worth 💛 beacons.ai/quietly.feeling