Toxic positivity and Gaslighting: workplace/school
Gaslighting doesn’t just happen in romantic relationships; in fact, gaslighting is quite widespread in work settings, but there is little redress for this at institutional level. I compiled a few examples to place both gaslighting, and its underling -toxic positivity- in context. These examples are selected from case studies in organizational psychology, so the scenarios outlined are based on research studies done in workplaces by social scientists. #toxicpositivity #hostileenvironment #gaslighting #mentalhealthatwork #knowyourrights
It’s truly disheartening how often we encounter subtle yet damaging behaviors like gaslighting and toxic positivity, not just in relationships, but especially in professional or academic environments. I used to brush off certain interactions, thinking I was just overthinking things or being too sensitive. But after diving deeper into this topic, I realized these were classic signs of a hostile environment. One of the sneakiest tactics I’ve learned to recognize is deflection. You bring up a legitimate concern, and suddenly, the conversation is flipped, and you’re the one on the defensive or being blamed for the issue. It's incredibly frustrating and leaves you feeling unheard. Another one that gets me is tone policing. You express a valid grievance, perhaps with some emotion—because, let’s be real, these situations are often upsetting—and instead of addressing the issue, the focus shifts to how you're saying it, invalidating your feelings completely. It's like they're saying, "Your feelings are valid, but only if you express them in a way that's convenient for me." This is a classic way to de-center your experiences, as my research (and some helpful infographics!) pointed out. And then there's the insidious 'playing devil's advocate' – which, while sometimes innocent, can be a gaslighter’s favorite tool. Someone dismisses your experience by pretending to offer a balanced view, but it just ends up undermining your reality. It's a subtle form of manipulation that makes you question your own perceptions. I remember a time I was discussing a problematic team dynamic, and a colleague kept saying, "Well, maybe they didn't mean it that way," or "You have to see it from their side too." While empathy is good, when it consistently dismisses your lived experience, it becomes part of the problem. Toxic positivity often goes hand-in-hand with this. It’s not about genuine optimism; it’s about shutting down negative emotions or concerns with platitudes like "just look on the bright side" or "everything happens for a reason." While well-intentioned sometimes, in a workplace, it can prevent real issues from being addressed and make you feel guilty for struggling. It creates an environment where people are afraid to voice concerns, leading to deeper, unaddressed problems. I've personally felt pressured to put on a brave face even when I was incredibly stressed, just because the prevailing culture discouraged any "negative" talk. Recognizing these behaviors is the first crucial step. It's not about becoming paranoid, but about validating your own experiences and protecting your mental well-being. If you find yourself constantly questioning your reality, feeling drained after interactions, or being told you're "too sensitive" when expressing legitimate concerns, these are red flags. Documenting instances can be helpful, not just for potential formal action, but also for your own clarity and to avoid self-gaslighting. Remember, your feelings are valid, and you deserve a respectful environment, whether it's at work or school. Don't let anyone diminish your reality with subtle manipulation or forced cheerfulness.
