This morning, my daughter, my dad, and I have to do something I never imagined — plan my brother’s funeral. I still can’t make sense of any of this. Every time I wake up, my first thought is him… what happened, how, and why. None of it adds up, and my heart is broken in a way I can’t even explain.

Before all of this, he had FINALLY found peace, a peace he had NEVER known before. Up in his new home in Maine, he was the happiest and most settled I had EVER seen him in his whole life. Everyone who talked to him could see it too.

Every time we talked — and we talked every single day, sometimes three times — he’d start with, “Hi Shell,” in that silly little voice only he could pull off. I’d give anything to hear it again.

This picture captures him perfectly — that shy little smile because he hated pictures, that twinkle in his eye, and behind him, the home where he finally found his calm. 💔

#ILoveYouPaul #IMissYouSoMuch #ForeverMyBrother #WishYouWereHere

#GriefAndLove