I want to be his wife not his mom
Not wanting be a wife is okay. But what some of us mean is that we don't want to be a mom. Many of us give up on love because we saw many women including our selves being mothers and not wives.
We've watched women believe in men more than they believed in themselves. Pouring coffee into a empty pot for years just to end up sick, no money left over, and children resentful because you stayed. Dealing with the battle of wanting love while also the reality of draining and depleting yourself for children and a husband. It seems like a myth while people just say get up and get married.
But they don't want to deal with concept of the images of marriage that have been poured on to us since birth. I believe marriage is fulfilling but many of us have to learn to be wives and not choose men who want mothers. To be okay with you pouring your all into him while neglecting yourself in other areas of your life is not love. Only children think about themselves and want everything about them. Be with with someone who can handle you pouring into your self and also aids in you doing that. They should be self sufficient where they should know how to raise thier kids for a weekend out. Getting married doesn't mean you don't matter as long as you don't get with someone who doesn't see that you matter. He should also be asking you " what are your dreams and how can I support them". Prayer- God my prayer is that you heal our hearts as women from the hurt of living and seeing men who acted as children and not husbands. Heal us that we don't feel we need to let go of our dreams to support a man, while also helping us to not center men in our life where we willingly loose ourselves. May you reshape our minds to walk in the confidence but not perfection of being a wife. May we get to know what it is to rest and change generational curses of women being burnt out. We speak that we will be able to be a wife to our husbands and that title will not kill us or burden us out. May we be able to serve without resentment thinking no one will be there to do the same for me. We will be poured into both mentally, physically and financially without doing it all ourselves. May we heal through our relationship of being a daughter first by you. May we submit to you and allow you to give us peace and guidance to not just the husband but the community you have for us. May we be able to also have friends who pour into us and help us to give boundaries.
May this not be a season where we are sitting at the edge of the bed drained because no one was there. May we be surrounded by your love and those who love you. May we experience agape love and have the strength to draw boundaries with takers.
If you've never accepted Christ as your Savior and feel led to, l invite you now to open your heart to Him. Ask Jesus to come into your life, forgive your sins, and be your Lord and Savior #datingadviceforwomen #abuserecovery #jesusgirly #singlesoftiktok
When entering a relationship, it’s essential to recognize the difference between being a supportive partner and taking on a parental role. Many women find themselves drained because they end up acting as caregivers rather than equal spouses. This often happens because from a young age, they’ve seen examples of women who sacrificed themselves to raise ‘grown men’ rather than healthy husbands. From personal experience, I’ve seen how fulfilling a marriage can be when both partners share responsibility. It’s important to date men who are self-sufficient and emotionally mature enough to care for themselves and their children, even if only for a weekend. This kind of independence creates space for the wife to also focus on her personal growth, dreams, and well-being. Setting boundaries in marriage is key. It’s not selfish to expect your spouse to support your goals or to ask, “What are your dreams and how can I support them?” True partnership means pouring into each other without losing your own identity. If your partner expects you to neglect yourself to care for him, that’s a sign he’s looking for a mother, not a wife. Building a healthy relationship requires open communication, self-awareness, and the courage to let go of societal myths about marriage. It’s okay to seek rest and refuse the generational curse of burnout that many women face. Surrounding yourself with a community that uplifts you and learning to say no to takers can bring balance. Remember, marriage should enhance your life, not deplete it. Fulfilling relationships are built on mutual care, respect, and the freedom to be yourself. Taking care of your own mental, physical, and financial well-being will enable you to genuinely love and support your spouse without resentment or exhaustion.
