Girls, Commit THIS to Memory FOR YOUR OWN SAFETY🧳

my more nuanced take on this is that, personally i feel it’s sad that we’re living in 2024 and here i am sharing tips on how to lie just to keep ourselves safe when we travel. and that we cannot engage in friendly conversations without always suspecting that somehow it’s all just gonna derail in the end. it’s sad that in our 𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘵𝘩𝘴, we are not safe and it’s bittersad that, perversely, it is lies and made-up stories that offer us any semblance of protection that, sometimes, barely even holds.

and then people turn around and wonder why women all so drama 🥲

but of course, it is also 2024 – so what you cannot change, you learn to be expedient about. tbh i wish i can be idealistic enough to say, 𝘸𝘩𝘺 𝘸𝘩𝘺 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘭𝘪𝘦 𝘸𝘦 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥𝘯’𝘵 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘭𝘪𝘦 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘢𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘴𝘪𝘵𝘶𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘤𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘪𝘳𝘴𝘵 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘤𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘯 𝘵𝘰 𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘤𝘵 𝘶𝘴 –

well, yessssss… but the reality remains that we are alone, and on foreign grounds; and any girl who’s travelled enough will know better than to be that self-righteous about progression.

and until real change has finally happened, i am also of the belief that it’s better we stay safe and stay 𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘦 – than die trying to prove a point.

𝗟𝗜𝗘 𝗡𝗢. 𝟭 : 𝗜 𝗔𝗟𝗪𝗔𝗬𝗦 𝗛𝗔𝗩𝗘 𝗔 𝗕𝗢𝗬𝗙𝗥𝗜𝗘𝗡𝗗, 𝗢𝗥 𝗔 𝗛𝗨𝗦𝗕𝗔𝗡𝗗. 𝗦𝗢𝗠𝗘𝗧𝗜𝗠𝗘𝗦, 𝗜 𝗘𝗩𝗘𝗡 𝗛𝗔𝗩𝗘 𝗞𝗜𝗗𝗦.

tbh i am REALLY bad at lying - *even* when it’s white lies. basically i can’t say no and i can’t lie; and for a huge part of my earlier travels, this was such a lethal combination because it puts you in SUCH A SPOT. like you’re on a holiday, you’re supposed to be having FUN – and there you are fielding intrusive questions from your drivers and random strangers with absolutely no sense of personal space.

the thing is, even when they mean you no harm, when you don’t lie and your truth is that you’re 21 and single and travelling alone, you are enabling them to keep asking the creepy questions that they are asking. not to mention that it can also be quite tricky to see these things coming- mostly because they always seem to stem from harmless enough conversations that start off by asking you where you are from/ if you are studying or working etc…

if you’re like me and prefer to think of people as being friendly before thinking of them as creeps, it means that you’ll almost always find yourself knee-deep in the conversation by the time you want to get out of it… and so over the years, i have learned to deprioritize my discomfort about lying and kill off the conversation before it happens by telling them i’m married. (i am not.)

p.s. i know of some solo female travellers who actually even bring a dummy ring to wear as a wedding band to fend off unwanted interactions – so, nope! nothing is too much to keep yourself safe.

𝗟𝗜𝗘 𝗡𝗢. 𝟮 : 𝗜 𝗔𝗠 𝗔𝗟𝗪𝗔𝗬𝗦 𝟭𝟬 𝗬𝗘𝗔𝗥𝗦 𝗢𝗟𝗗𝗘𝗥 𝗧𝗛𝗔𝗡 𝗜 𝗔𝗠.

ngl, 45 is less attractive than 35, and 35 is less attractive than 25. even if you look super young for your age, the moment you mention the earth-shattering words “i’m in my 30s/40s”, a lot of your initial appeal immediately fades away. sad, but that’s just how the way the world works – or maybe not so sad, since it actually comes in handy here. 😂🤣

the trick tho is to not overdo it until it becomes such a blatant lie(bcos you’re only gonna intrigue them more). i usually settle for anywhere between 5-10 years of my actual age. and depending on how irritated i am by the conversation, sometimes i even have a couple of kids 🤭 (i realized over time that just the mere mention of kids can be a super killjoy with this demographic of people.)

𝗟𝗜𝗘 𝗡𝗢. 𝟯 : 𝗜’𝗠 𝗡𝗢𝗧 𝗔𝗟𝗢𝗡𝗘, 𝗘𝗩𝗘𝗡 𝗪𝗛𝗘𝗡 𝗜’𝗠 𝗔𝗟𝗢𝗡𝗘.

someone’s always waiting for me somewhere. if i’m in the cab, then they’re at the place i’m now headed to. else, they’re in the hotel and i’m just here to grab something.

if you’re stuck in a creepy conversation, make a show of interrupting them because oh you need to send your current location to your husband / boyfriend / brother / parents now – go ahead and fake that phone conversation if you have to (but pls remember to put your phone on Silent when you do).

𝗟𝗜𝗘 𝗡𝗢. 𝟰 : 𝗜 𝗔𝗠 𝗔𝗟𝗪𝗔𝗬𝗦 𝗟𝗘𝗔𝗩𝗜𝗡𝗚 *𝗧𝗢𝗠𝗢𝗥𝗥𝗢𝗪*.

this is a lie you can potentially get caught out on – but it’s okay, bcos plans can always change right? maybe you loved the place so much you decided to extend your stay? either way, don’t worry that it’ll backfire, bcos…

… the alternative is that they will try to make plans WITH you for as long as you’re there.

they’d ask you for drinks. offer to entertain you the next few days. take you to this place or that. once, i had the misfortune of the driver actually waiting outside my hotel the next day even tho i already said i was leaving. thankfully i wasn’t lying so i really was getting into another cab to leave but OMG THE CREEEEEEPS

srsly. before it even gets there, kill it. tell them it’s your last day and you’re leaving tomorrow, even if you’ve only just arrived.

𝗟𝗜𝗘 𝗡𝗢. 𝟱 : 𝗜 𝗖𝗔𝗡’𝗧 𝗥𝗘𝗠𝗘𝗠𝗕𝗘𝗥 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗡𝗔𝗠𝗘 𝗢𝗙 𝗠𝗬 𝗛𝗢𝗧𝗘𝗟

this one’s harder to pull off when it’s your driver – but in all other circumstances, you should NEVER disclose where your accommodation’s at, especially if it’s an Airbnb.

vaguely remember the street, mention some other nearby hotel; usually here is where i’d use the opportunity to reinforce Lie #3 and go, “oh i really have to ask my xxx when i get back”, just to remind them that you’re not here alone. DOUBLE-BAM.

✨️𝗕𝗢𝗡𝗨𝗦 𝗧𝗜𝗣✨️

this isn’t so much a lie than a tip – but since we’re on the topic of accommodation, please also refrain from geotagging your social media posts WHILE you are still there. i’ve gone into detail here about Why You Should Wait To Post Your Travels, but tldr: don’t. if you wish to geotag, then do it only after you’ve left. you may think you’re damn FBI on social media but let me tell you you haven’t seen FBI until you’ve seen these ppl. if they’re interested enough and you leave a digital footprint, they will find you.

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stay safe, ladies! and feel free to share ur own tips below to help us all out! ❤️

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