EP21: Two Husbands, Two Worlds
While their wives, who are best friends, step away to the restroom, two husbands strike up a conversation, one rooted in traditional family expectations, the other shaped by love, empathy, and modern views on marriage, money, and postpartum care.
Husband: "From the way she handled having a baby, you can tell whether she’s a good wife. My wife clearly isn’t one."
Husband 2: "Why do you say that?"
Husband: "Just look at how she handled everything. She couldn’t even take care of herself after birth. She made my mum help her with things like cleaning up after childbirth."
Husband 2: "Did she have a C-section or a natural birth?"
Husband: "C-section."
Husband 2: "So how soon was she up and about? That’s fast recovery, right?"
Husband: "My mum took care of her for over a month. She didn’t even show any appreciation."
Husband 2: "Look, a responsible person would ensure their wife gets proper care after childbirth, to prevent the MIL from doing too much. If there are issues with the in-laws, many people would pay for a professional postnatal care service to make sure everything’s done right. It’s just money, really. don’t you have the money for that?"
Husband: "Well, she’s the main one working now."
Husband 2: "Wait, so your wife is actually earning money too? That’s lucky! Most men would be jealous if their wives were independent and could pay for themselves to go to a postnatal care centre."
Husband: "That’s not what I mean. The money isn’t just hers; it’s for the whole family. But still, spending that much on recovery?"
Husband 2: "Your family has been helping her, bringing her food, taking care of her, even cleaning up after her. But now you’re complaining about the money she spends on herself? You’re calling yourself poor, but then you’re criticising her for being independent and working to pay for her own recovery?"
Husband: "I don’t earn as much as she does, but..."
Husband 2: "So, should she not enjoy the benefits of earning her own money? Are you upset she’s using her own earnings to take care of herself? That’s really what’s bothering you, isn’t it?"
Husband: "Well, my mum has been through all this before."
Husband 2: "Ask your mum, if her MIL had treated her like that after childbirth, would she have understood what it’s like to go through that pain? Would she have been that considerate?"
Husband: "Back then, things were different."
Husband 2: "Exactly! Why do you keep wanting to go back to the past? This is 2025. Now, we have services like postnatal centres and recovery options. So why are you agreeing with what your mum says? Do you expect your wife to be working in the fields after giving birth, just like in the '60s and '70s? Should she not use diapers for the baby because it’s a waste of money?"
Husband: "I’m not saying that..."
Husband 2: "Well, it sounds like you are! Are you saying we should go back to a time where we didn’t have things like smartphones or modern medicine? You’re being selfish!"
Husband: "Do you think something’s wrong with my mindset?"
Husband 2: "Honestly, it sounds like you’ve chosen a wife who is capable, works hard, and still manages to care for herself. But you want to control her decisions and criticise her for taking care of herself after giving birth. Do you realise how unfair and hurtful that is? Women who’ve just given birth need compassion and understanding. You’re criticising her for being independent. That’s not just unfair, it’s cruel."
