Summary of the Handbook of Understanding and Coping with Toxic People in Organizations

It is divided into three main areas: the cause / thought behind it, the structure of viewing Toxic people as characters, and the approach / strategy of coping.

1.Understand Toxic People: How Do They Think, Believe and Feel?

• Narratives and Logic in Mind: Most Toxic people are not meant to be bad in the first place, but come up from a knot in their heart, a wound, or a past experience, which is created as an "Internal Narrative" that interprets and views the world.

Self-Created Roleplaying (Role): They often choose the roles they want to play, such as "the victim being abused by the world" or "the perfect hero (narcissism)," with these roles often not the actual duties assigned by the organization.

The attempt drew others into the scene: Toxic people can't play this role alone.

If he believes he is the victim →, he will try to find the "culprit / bully."

If he believes he is a hero → he will try to find an enemy / culprit.

• Why Empathy (Understanding): Understanding the background will help us see the pity, agitation, or comedy in their behavior, rather than seeing him as the enemy who came to hurt us directly.

2. The psychological structure of Toxic people (see through the "character" perspective).

If you analyze a Toxic person as a character in a play / movie, you will find two main structures:

2.1 Deep needs or goals (Desire & Goal)

• Need for acceptance and safety: Deep down, feeling insecure, it's expressed by trying to "control everything" to feel safe.

2.2 Conflict in Mind and Knot of the Past (Internal Conflict)

• Failure wounds: May have failed from past tasks until severe self-defense mechanisms have emerged.

• Imperfections in Other Lives: When personal life is unhappy, it is dedicated to overcoming the organization to compensate.

• State paranoia: Feeling that one's own position or importance is shaky.

• Lack of social skills: Sometimes want to have friends or acceptance, but use ways to beat others because building normal relationships is not

3. Conscious coping strategies and methods

1. Shift Perspective:

o Viewing them as "characters" instead of looking at them as "enemies," this method reduces co-emotions, allows us to see the paucity or comedy in his behavior, and consciously discerns the outcome of what will happen.

2. Do not play according to the game / scene created (Don't play their game):

O When he created Drama or Scene to allow us to play the role of "bully" or "enemy," stop and set your mind. Ask, "What role is he trying to get us to play now?" Then back out. Not following the water. Not Toxic back.

3. Keep the distance (Set Boundaries):

O Understanding does not always mean to consent or consent to being committed; let the scope of work and interaction be clearly defined.

4. Choose situational intelligence (Tactical Response):

O Play Dumb: In some situations, conniving or not accepting children can cut down the violence.

o Retaliate / Play the Game Back: Where necessary, retaliation can be done to reduce ego, or principally hijack weaknesses, to stop cross-line behavior.

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3 Pivotal in moving beyond Toxic issues in the workplace

1.Back off as "audience," not "game character."

Understanding that Toxic's behavior stems from knots and the creation of stories in his mind, take a conscious look at the situation, see him as a character, and you will not be a victim in the drama he created.

2. Empathy with Boundaries:

Having understanding and compassion (Empathy) helps us not to be angry or not to view him as an enemy, but that understanding must be accompanied by "setting the cards and keeping the distance" so that those behaviors do not come to hurt our minds or affect our work.

3. Focus on your own goals and growth:

Don't waste your time and life energy playing political or emotional games with Toxic people, focus that energy back on your work, good relationships with other colleagues, and sustainable self-improvement.

Arrangement of content from the 2018 Storytelling Love Classroom page

# Coping with toxic people # How to cope with toxic people # Develop yourself