Diary| Friends with the ex?Part 3
I honestly don't know why I reacted so strongly when he said he was seeing someone. I truly don't.
Maybe because my meds were wearing off at that time and I didn't process the information.
I had my little petty moment of looking at the blanket he gave me and wearing the shirt he got me from his trip, talkin bout "Mmm girl you already won. Everyone after you is just an attempt"
Talk about delusional, huh?
I even downloaded some dating app to take my mind off him; and to show myself that " I can do it too, I just wasn't trying". Like getting a lick back. But now, I'm just not even wanting to put the effort in, and the guys I'm interested in aren't even near me 🙄
I made a pros and cons for dating Avenger and when I tell you I had to pause on the pros because it wasn't much. I have 5 of them and they're just basic. But when I did that cons, I got 8 so far and I couldn't kept going but, 8 already proved my point.
I think I reacted the way I did because, the new girl is similar to me and I felt like it was just to get a reaction out of me or see that I can be jealous. And I was. I think about the actions he's done that for a moment made me question if maybe it would be cool to do a round 2 of a relationship. Try again ya know?
He and I made a deal a while ago, I clean his room and he does my dishes. He said he hates doing dishes, but he did mine.
I hosted a Super Bowl party at my house and he was attentive to my guests, we played games, used the word "we" and after everyone left, we just fell asleep.
My cats like him.
He got me ice cream and soup and things for me being sick.
The quality time spent in my apartment with each other due to sickness probably added to me trusting him a little more.
I never want to feel bad for the love and help I give people. They probably needed it at that time.
To me, Avenger and I have too much history to be friends. Maybe it's the ADHD mentality of "all or nothing" that tells me "if I can't have him, I don't want nothing to do with him", as in cut off all communication, block him again, I already deleted Netflix and Hulu and crunchy roll- all the apps he put on my tv and logged in to. At that time, I felt like I was losing and this new girl won. She won the guy that is now acting right, when back then he wouldn't even get em a birthday gift except a shout out on Snapchat.
And the overthinking part of me really be like, next time I see him, just double down and be like "why don't you ask your girlfriend?" And still not looking him in the eyes. Or just being like "well yeah I'm upset, this new girl comes in and takes the guy I was interested in".
Nahhh that sounds stupid 🫣 these are just thoughts.
But writing it out has definitely helped me process this.
#exboyfriend #relationshipstorytime #embracevulnerability #letschat
In relationships, the dynamics can shift dramatically, especially when an ex moves on with someone new. This profound sense of jealousy often stems from unresolved feelings, leading to reflection on past actions and relationships. It's essential to recognize the importance of emotional boundaries and self-reflection in such situations. Creating a pros and cons list about dating an ex can be a useful tool to evaluate your true feelings. Weighing the emotional baggage against potential future happiness can illuminate the path forward. Navigating friendships with an ex is not merely about keeping things civil; it involves understanding the complexities of past interactions and recognizing what truly matters in new relationships. Moreover, the role of support during times of distress—like sickness—can foster complicated feelings, blurring the lines between friendship and romantic sentiment. Mindfully assessing these interactions can guide you towards healthier relationships in the future. Ultimately, embracing vulnerability is a crucial step toward personal growth. By sharing your experiences and emotions, you not only process your feelings but also connect with others facing similar struggles. This act not only helps in healing but also encourages a sense of community and shared experience.
