Hey, so… I can’t come home for Thanksgiving again…

Let’s go back to November of 2023, when I first came to the realization of something that had been racking my mind for years and years. I hate going home for Thanksgiving.

Which was..incorrect.

What I actually hate is the preparation, traveling, and time taken away from a day or two of rest that I have in the most stressful part of my year.

I love my family dearly. And as eldest daughters often do…

#thankgiving #holidaygrief #tiredbutwhatever #burnoutrecovery #blackauthors

2025/11/28 Edited to

... Read moreThanksgiving is often portrayed as a warm, joyful family gathering, but the reality for many can be quite complex. Preparing for the holiday—shopping for groceries, cooking elaborate meals, and coordinating travel—often leads to significant stress and exhaustion, especially during the busiest parts of the year. For some, like eldest daughters who frequently shoulder family responsibilities, the pressure can be even greater. Traveling during Thanksgiving also comes with its own set of challenges, including long hours on the road or in airports, unpredictable delays, and the financial burden of trip expenses. These factors contribute to physical and emotional tiredness, sometimes causing people to reconsider whether attending the family gathering is worth sacrificing their limited downtime. It's important to acknowledge that choosing not to travel for Thanksgiving does not reflect a lack of love or commitment to family. Rather, it can be an essential act of self-care, especially when one is dealing with burnout, mental fatigue, or financial constraints. Recognizing these limits can help prevent holiday grief, a feeling many experience when unable to participate in traditional celebrations. Many people find alternative ways to connect with loved ones during the holidays without enduring the stress of travel and preparation. Virtual gatherings, sending thoughtful messages, or planning future get-togethers can help maintain bonds while respecting personal well-being. Ultimately, embracing the idea that holidays can evolve to suit current needs allows individuals to honor both their family relationships and their health. This approach fosters a healthier and more authentic celebration, balancing love and self-respect even during the busiest time of the year.

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