I worked with a married couple back when I worked for AOL in Oklahoma. Yes, AOL. This was before Google took over the world and before half of y'all were asking GPS for directions. 🤣

Back then, I was about 28 and thought relationships were simple.

You like football? Check.

You like comic books? Check.

You love Jesus? Double check.

In my mind, that was all you needed.

Then life sat me down like an elder deacon catching somebody cutting up in the church parking lot.

This couple seemed perfect. Same hobbies. Same friends. Same restaurants. If one sneezed, the other was already saying, "Bless you."

At first, it looked cute.

A few months later, they were getting on each other's last sanctified nerve.

One day the husband told me, "Brother, if she asks me one more question during this game, I'm moving to Nineveh."

The next week his wife said, "If this man shows me one more football statistic, I'm going to lay hands on him... and it won't be for prayer."

I almost fell out laughing, but they taught me something.

Just because two magnets attract doesn't mean they stop being individual magnets. They come together, but they don't lose their identity.

The same is true in friendships, dating, and relationships. God never intended for people to become carbon copies of each other. Adam wasn't talking to another Adam. God created Eve. Different strengths. Different perspectives. Different personalities. Same God.

That's why healthy relationships need breathing room.

Sometimes she needs a girls' night where nobody discusses fantasy football.

Sometimes the fellas need a kickback where nobody questions why we need three grills, four coolers, and enough food to feed a small nation.

People need space to grow, learn, recharge, and enjoy their own interests.

A relationship built only on common interests eventually runs out of conversation. But one built on faith, respect, purpose, and healthy boundaries keeps growing.

Even Jesus stepped away from the crowds to spend time with the Father. If Jesus needed space, what makes us think we can be attached at the hip 24/7?

Spend time together. Build memories. But every now and then, let her hang with the girls and let the fellas fire up the grill.

Trust me. Everybody comes back happier... and with far fewer reasons to lay hands on somebody. 😂

4 days agoEdited to

... Read moreIn my experience, one of the most valuable lessons about relationships is understanding the need for healthy boundaries and respecting individuality. It’s easy to assume that sharing the same hobbies or interests — like football, comic books, or faith — guarantees harmony, but this often isn’t the case in the long run. I’ve seen couples who started out almost inseparable, attending the same events and sharing all their free time together, but eventually, they began to feel suffocated. It reminded me of the phrase “If she asks one more question during this game, I’m moving to Nineveh,” which highlights how too much closeness without space can wear on even the closest partners. Healthy relationships, whether romantic or friendships, thrive when both individuals have room to grow and enjoy their own interests. This doesn’t mean growing apart but rather allowing each other to recharge and maintain identity. For example, having a girls’ night without the men, or a guys’ kickback without the ladies, creates variety and reduces friction. It keeps the connection fresh and prevents conversations from drying up. Putting this into practice, I realized that my own friendships were stronger when I respected my friends’ need for their time and space. We could come together enriched and more excited to share, rather than feeling obligated or overwhelmed. Even Jesus set an example by withdrawing from crowds to spend quiet time with God, illustrating that rest and solitude are crucial. Incorporating respect, purpose, and faith as foundations ensures that relationships grow beyond common interests. It’s about valuing differences and building on shared values, not trying to become carbon copies. This approach preserved my friendships and relationships, helping me understand that space isn’t distance — it’s growth. Trusting that everyone will return happier and more fulfilled is key to lasting, meaningful connections.

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